Hullabaloo

Who Let the Dogs Out?

2012-01-27T15:58:00.000-08:00

On Sunday morning I decided to go for a jog before church. It was a typical Sunday morning, and a typical run. I rounded the corner on a particular street less than half-way through my 3-mile jog, like usual. And I saw the run-down pink house, with the unkempt yard.

And then out of nowhere, a friend came to greet me—their big, brown, muscular dog. It didn’t bark. It didn’t growl. It simply chased me about two steps, jumped at my leg, and bit me. It sunk its sharp teeth into the soft meaty flesh, which is the back of my thigh. And I stopped in shock and genuine surprise at the audacity of this mutt.

The bite was worse than I initially thought. Two circular puncture wounds mark the dog’s bicuspid fangs, and a semi-circle of black, blue, and purple is the perfect replica of Bruiser’s mouth. I don’t know the dog’s given name, but I choose to call him Bruiser, because that is what he is.

Now don’t worry. I told the owner what happened. I went to the doctor who informed me that it is a very “clean” bite. But I don’t think there’s anything clean about it! Apparently that means it’s not infected, I don’t need antibiotics, and I’m not going to die of rabies. Yay.

So, what is the lesson? I know there must be one. Is it to carry pepper spray when I jog? Bring a stick? Run down a different street? No. Well, those are all ideas…but that’s not the lesson I learned. From this experience I took away two things. First, don’t wait until your neighbor’s dog bites you before you knock on the door and introduce yourself. And second, don’t run on Sunday…it’s the day of rest! ☺

Change

2012-01-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

I’ve never been good with change. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, I’ve written a blog entry about change in the past. I don’t know what it is, but to me, there is something soothing about schedule, disciple, order, rules, regularity, predictability. It’s comforting, satisfying even. I thrive when I can anticipate things.

But unfortunately that is not real life. Most of the time, we can’t predict the future. And we especially can’t control the future. That’s a problem for someone like me. And I use the word “problem” loosely. It is actually a good thing because it forces me to trust the Lord.

So as much as change scares me, it’s good for me. It stretches me, and it makes me more like my Savior. So I won’t fight it—I’ll embrace it. Change? Bring it on!

White Christmas

2012-01-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

I am going to listen to my Michael Buble Christmas CD one last time on the way home from work today before I put it away for an entire year! It's inconceivable how quickly the holidays flew by. It seems unreal. It's almost impossible to believe how drastically things change from when you're a kid. But if any time at all, Christmas is the best time to search for that spark, that simple joy you had as a child.

I spent a week with my sister, my B.I.L., my two nephews, and 3 of their cousins...in all there were 5 boys ages 1,2,3,4, and 5! Yes, it's true. It was crazy and insane. But such a blast! Being around kids like that on Christmas really changed everything for me, and it was such a special time. Enjoying their new toys, going on bear hunts, making Christmas cookies and happy birthday Jesus cakes, playing in the snow...it was so much fun.

My sister, B.I.L., and the boys leave tomorrow to go back to Uganda, so sadly that week at Christmas was the last time I will see them for a couple of years, unless God allows me to take a trip to Africa. The cost is great, but the mission is worth it. I will gladly sacrifice having my sister around if it is for the sake of the kingdom.

Goodbyes are bitter cold, like the snow we used to build our snowman. I am trusting that the warmth of these amazing memories will melt the frosty parting and burn brightly until the next time I get to be with my family again.

Too Good to Be True

2011-12-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a place in life where everything seems to be going smoothly? You feel like you've got everything together and everything is moving along like normal. I'm not talking about WONDERFUL times where great things are happening...just the times that are peaceful. You aren't in the midst of any big trials and things are manageable. Things are safe and predictable and the possibility of hurt is minimized.

But then something really good happens, and it's hard to believe it's true. It's hard to accept. At least for me it is! I've been so used to going through trials and hard things, that when something good does happen, it can be a little hard to accept the gift, for fear that it will be taken away. It's easier to keep going in the "manageable" and the status quo than to step out and take a risk by stepping into something new and good.

But some gifts are so amazing, you can't help but hope they are true and take the chance. So you step out in faith and push off the "good" and reach for "great". It's worth it! I believe that. Because God is the giver of every good and perfect gift. He is not harsh or unfeeling. He is kind and gives good things.

I'm Alive and Thinking...

2011-11-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

I've been encouraged to keep up my blog, despite good distractions that fight for my time. So I'm vowing to do my best. It's my Thanksgiving resolution, I suppose. Why wait until the new year?

Yesterday at work in staff meeting we had a devotion on Psalm 139 which says,
"Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with a complete hatred; I count them my enemies."

I have to be honest, this is a hard thing to swallow. I have always been told the cliche, "Hate the sin and love the sinner." And I know the intent behind that saying. But then, how am I to I take a verse like the verse above? Clearly it tells me to hate those who hate God. It calls them my enemies! There is no getting around it. I have nothing in common with those in darkness. I have no fellowship with sons of the devil. It's harsh, but true! There is no truce. No friendship, flirting, or comfort in the presence of an enemy. Too often I think of people as "good." In theory I know that's not true. I know sin abounds. But in practice I am at peace and comfort that everyone around me is pretty much good. NO. I am surrounded by enemies, and I am commanded to hate. Gulp.

But here's where I am blown away. I am also clearly commanded in Scripture to LOVE my enemies! Yes, I am surrounded. Yes, I hate them and loathe their father, Satan. But I LOVE them with a supernatural love. The same love that God love me with when even though I was His enemy, He died for me.

And this hatred of sin should lead directly to reflection in my own life--which is the very next verse in Psalm 139,
"Search me, O, God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"

And that is my prayer today!

Winding Down

2011-09-20T11:57:00.001-07:00

My sister, bro, and the boys are only here for a couple more weeks. The time has gone so fast! I just can't believe how precious my nephews are! I think my heart is going to break when they are gone. Even just a few days without them and the house seemed so empty it was scary! It was too quiet and it felt strange to actually sleep in a BED! But right now I'm going to forget about that moment when they leave, and I'm going to enjoy my next few weeks on the blow-up mattress and more important, my time with my amazing sister and those dear boys!

Adventures in Life

2011-09-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

I visited a church with my sister this past weekend. Something the pastor said got me thinking. He said the Christian life is never dull or boring. When we live in total, wild, crazy abandon for Christ, we are living a great adventure. We never know what a day can bring. It can be delightful, fun, relaxing, filled with joy and good things. Or a day can be hard, tiring, stressful, even tragic. But it all comes from the hand of a good God who loves me. And the exciting part is, I never know what comes next, or what to expect when I wake up in the morning and lift my head off of my pillow. I have chosen this journey and I will continue it with a smile as I think about the future. How about you?

It's Been a Long Time

2011-08-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

I realized I've been sadly negligent of my blog! But I have a good reason. And since they say a picture is worth a thousand words, I will share a few pictures. I think they will explain for themselves why it's been over a month since I've posted!

Nap

2011-07-10T22:38:00.000-07:00

Naps are strange things...

I don't normally take naps, not because I don't like them, but because they never seem to work for me. Either I can't fall asleep, or I get woken up. But not today...today I had a great nap. I fell asleep while watching a movie, I won't name the movie, because I don't want to give it a bad rep. for making me fall asleep. Yes, I blame the movie. "Blame" being a good thing in this case. I suppose I should say I give "credit" to the movie for helping me fall asleep. :)

Well, you know that feeling you get after you take a nap? That hazy, dreamy feeling? I got that today big time! After a 3 hour nap, yes I did say 3 hours, I was woken up by my aunt calling me and telling me their house alarm went off and asking if I could go and check on the house. I'm thankful the house was just fine!

But I just had to share about the best nap I've had in a long time. And a reminder of that hazy, dreamy, feeling that I haven't felt in so long!

Some Things I'll Never Understand...

2011-06-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

1. Why some people are attractive and others, not so much. :)

2. Why God chose death as the vessel to bring His children to glory.

3. Guys(need I say more?)

4. Why I was born in a rich, easy nation like America.

5. Why the foods that are the worst for you taste the best.

6. Lemurs.

7. Movies like Willow.

8. The people who work at the Rite Aid by my house.

9. Brussel sprouts.

10. Why I'm such an emotional person.

Ouch!

2011-06-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I was on my way to work, minding my own business. I was stopped at a red light when the big semi-like truck in front of me started to roll backward...right into me. The driver said his gears "jumped." O boy...here comes the insurance fun!

I am so glad I drive a big car like Tonto or I would have been squashed! Seriously. When I bought my car, it was between a Mini Cooper and my FJ. Honestly, if I had been in a Mini Cooper today, that backward-driving truck would have squashed me like an accordion. Yet Tonto just has a slightly munched bumper.

I'm so thankful to God!

Reunions

2011-06-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

HS reunions are strange things. You'd think I could probe the creative recesses of my word-nerd brain and come up with something more descriptive, right. Well, I'm sticking with it--they are "strange things."

Don't ask me how, but somehow I got sucked into helping with the planning of my HS reunion. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. And now the reunion is 3 weeks away and I'm totally stressing out. There is so much I've been assigned to do at the last minute. And how can I possibly say no at this point?

I'm happy to help and I know it will be an enlightening and interesting dinner with my old classmates, so I'm glad to go, but at the same time it seems surreal. I can't be this old, because I don't feel this old! Well, recently my hip has been hurting me when I run. Does that mean I'm getting old too? Lord help me!

I'm dreading the reunion, but I'm also intrigued and excited about it at the same time. Any reunion stories to help me cheer me up? Or freak me out?

A Strange Feeling

2011-05-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and went outside for my normal morning run. And the first thing I noticed was my car...it looked like I had run over something and splattered it all over my tires. When I went in for a closer look, I saw that it was paint! Someone had spray painted with graffiti paint the tires all along the bottom side of my car!

It's a strange feeling. People say you feel violated when you are robbed or mugged. And I kind of feel like that. My car was parked in my driveway! Someone did that to my car in my own driveway!

It's a strange, sick feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. I can't explain it. It's not fear. Just disgust and even sadness. Kind of like a slap in the face to remind me of the sad realities of the world we live in.

Humility

2011-05-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today at work we had a "retreat" where we could get away and analyze our team, how we work together, our strengths and weaknesses. It was very encouraging. We started the first chapter of Humility by CJ Mahaney. It was very timely. Over the past few weeks the Lord has been revealing to me the pride that is in my heart. It's always been there, but it's been spilling out in puddles lately when different circumstances have shaken it up! God was already working in my heart even before we had this meeting and then up pops this discussion about humility. I don't believe in chance. I know it's God who ordained this in His grace to call me to repentance.

On top of being spiritually nourishing, the day was just plain old FUN! We were in a box at the Home Depot Sports center in LA. And we did a little planning for the Galaxy game event we are promoting. We had lunch at Five Guys...yummy burgers and fries. I realized how unique and fun LA can be. I forget there is so much to see and do because I don't go into LA that often. I've lived here my entire life and haven't seen a lot of the typical LA touristy things! Ha! Go figure.

The Great Adventure

2011-04-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

Every stage in life is so different.I'm learning to see each stage as an adventure. A dear friend, and woman I look up to very much, was telling me about how she recently found out that her husband must undergo open heart surgery. Now, if you knew my friend, you would know that she and her family have been through some extremely difficult trials in the past couple of years. And yet, in the midst of this new, huge trial, my friend was joyful, hopeful, calm, and even kept her sense of humor! I was amazed at her deep trust in the Lord which kept her so composed with a gentle, quiet, unfrazzled spirit! When she explained the situation of her husband's illness, she described it as "their newest adventure."

Since that conversation with my friend, I can't get that idea out of my mind. Adventure! Every stage in my life, every place where God has me, every trial I go through, I must see it as an adventure!

Good Friday

2011-04-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

For me, Good Friday has always been overshadowed by Easter. But for some reason this year it has gained more significance to me. I think about the people worshipping Christ as he entered the city, shouting hosanna, and laying their coats on the ground for Him. And then, just a few days later they were spitting on Him, mocking Him, and nailing Him to a cross to die.

I'm just as fickle. One moment I am praising Him with my lips and rejoicing over what He has done and the next moment I question His goodness and His plan in my life. I am like the disciples who can't even stay awake to pray for one hour in His time of greatest need. I sleep as He anguishes in prayer in some of the last moments of His life. I rest as He sweats drops of blood.

But He STILL died for me and He rose again and conquered death so that I might live in newness of life and spend eternity with Him forever!

Amazing love, how can it be, that Thou my God should die for me!

All By Myself

2011-04-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

So, today at work I'm ALL BY MYSELF! What should I do?
Stop at Jamba Juice on my way to work?
Turn my music up and sing at the top of my lungs?
Listen to This American Life?
Go out to lunch?
Yep. Sounds good to me!

Be Still and Know...

2011-04-08T11:35:00.001-07:00

As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after God!

There's been a recurring theme in my life the past couple of weeks and that is--be still and know that I am God. What exactly does it mean to be still before God. Whatever it is, I know I don't do it enough. Things get so busy and hectic. Even my time in the Word doesn't feel like I am being STILL.

I'm striving to figure this out. For now I think to meditate on Scripture and let it permeate me, to let God speak to me through his Word, and to acknowledge the presence of the Holy Spirit in all things is a good start.

Learning Lavish Forgiveness

2011-04-02T00:23:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to see something. The Christian life is all about battling our sin until the day comes when we are without sin! And that means death or until Jesus comes back. For the believer, life is not going to be easy. Because we are in a war! A lot of Christians want life to be neat and clean and tied up in a pretty little package. God never promises that. Even our sin is "neat" and respectable. But the truth is, that's not the case. Even if we think our life is nice and neat, it's not. Our sin is ugly and dirty. We are desperate, and there's no point in pretending we're better than we really are.

That's what makes His forgiveness so lavish! The fact that we are so depraved, and yet He chooses to forgive us, is astounding. His forgiveness makes our scarlet sins as white as snow. The restoration, healing, and blessing God can bring out of our lowest point is incomprehensible. I've seen it! It is real.

I praise God for His great grace!

Not Just Another Shower

2011-03-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

I went to a baby shower today. Yes, I've been to tons of showers, but this one was different. There were so many special details about this shower...handmade favors, ribbons, decorations, flower pens, even pregnant onion plants. I think more love went into this shower than any shower I have ever been to. And today I had an epiphany. The only reason for a shower is to pour out love on the person having a baby (or getting married...whatever the occasion). Sure that doesn't sound like much of an epiphany, but I had never thought of it that way before.

This grand awakening happened when we started playing one of the games. Here's a quick lowdown. Eat baby food, guess what it is. Person with the most right guesses wins! Now I'll be honest. the only reason in the world I will eat baby food is because I LOVE the person who's baby shower I am celebrating. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't come to your shower, and I certainly wouldn't eat baby food!

And then it hit me. Duh! That is the only reason to have a shower of any kind. To show love to the person. I will never look at showers the same way ever again!

A Lesson from Uganda

2011-03-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

My heart is always heavy for the country of Uganda after I talk to my sister! I skyped with her last night and began to think about all of the ministry that is going on there and all the Lord is doing. Then this morning I got an email from Danielle Hurley. She is a missionary in Uganda as well. Her email described a Muslim funeral she went to. She described how she was not allowed to sit with the Muslim women because as a non-muslim, she might defile them. And she described how she had to eat a bunch of icky food so that she would not offend the others at the funeral.

For some reason this got me thinking about how this world is not our home. We are just aliens here. We don't fit in. And as much as we try to make it comfortable, the more comfortable it is, the more we forget we don't belong here. So when something "uncomfortable" happens to me, I need to remember that is a kind and gentle reminder from the Lord that I belong with Him in glory, not here on earth.

Waiting...

2011-03-09T16:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes all we can do is sit and wait...

Certain circumstances are out of our control and we simply have to wait. And trust. Trust that God's promises are true and that His strength is sufficient to get us through.

And that's the situation I find myself in today. Waiting...waiting for answers.

When my dad told me he might have prostate cancer, I made a conscious choice not to freak out, not to let fear get a foothold in my heart. I told myself to be logical and to wait until we had some answers.

So I waited...waited for my dad to go to the doctor. And I waited...waited for him to have blood tests. And now I am waiting...waiting for results. Cancer, or not?

God tells me it is good to wait on Him!

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.

Psalm 37:7
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him

Psalm 37:9
...But those who wait on the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

Psalm 37:34
Wait on the LORD, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land.

Psalm 39:7
“And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.

Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.

Psalm 52:9
I will praise You forever, because You have done it; and in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good.

Psalm 59:9
I will wait for You, O You his Strength; for God is my defense.

Psalm 62:1
Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation.

Psalm 62:5
My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.

Psalm 69:3
I am weary with my crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.

Psalm 130:6
My soul waits for the Lord; more than those who watch for the morning—Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

The Importance of Training Your Children

2011-02-24T16:11:00.000-08:00

To all you parents out there. Let this be a lesson to you. I think this little girl could use some training up. What do you think? :)

WATCH

You Learn Something New Every Day!

2011-02-18T18:37:00.000-08:00

I love my job! I actually get paid to do something I'm good at, to have fun, to be around people I love, and to try new things.

Today we were filming a video to promote a new fundraising initiative we're launching at work. Over the last couple of weeks I was part of writing the script and then today I was assigned to be the script supervisor on set. What an experience to try new things. I've helped my cousin Robert on the the set before as his PA, but this was a little different.

Trying new things can reveal a lot about yourself and I feel like I explored a new side of myself today, and I liked it. It was a total blast.

For the rest of my life I want to continue learning and growing. I don't ever want to get stuck in one place. Today was a good start.

All Dogs Go to Heaven?

2011-02-11T15:13:00.000-08:00

I recently decided, I don't like pets. Don't get me wrong, I like animals. I'm just not a fan of pets. There's a difference. I say this as someone who has always had pets. In fact, growing up, there was never a time when I didn't have a cat, a dog, a bird, a rabbit, a rat, fish, chickens, or a pet squirrel. But the more I see how convenient and easy it is NOT to have pets, the more I feel like I can do without. Well, at least I thought so until the other day.

I read a facebook post my cousin put up. He's been extremely sad the past few days because his dog died. Rona was one of those special pets. The kind that don't come along often. You know, the one pet that has everything, the great personality, smart wit, sweet demeanor, yet protective personality. Rona really was one of a kind.

After reading my cousin's post, I was driving home from work and this precious pup started to cross the street, a car turned and headed in the dog's direction and the dog retreated staying in the crosswalk the entire time! I had to admit, it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

The next day, again on my way home from work, I watched in horror as a cute, but scruffy, malnourished dog ran into the middle of a crowded intersection where cars speed and accidents happen in abundance. The dog ran in what seemed to be circles in the middle of the street and was inches from being hit, several times. I held my breath and couldn't move. I wanted to take that dog home. But I couldn't get to it in time. No it didn't die, but it ran away before I could get to it.

I thought I was over the whole pet thing, now I'm not so sure!

Alarm Realizations

2011-02-04T18:23:00.000-08:00

My alarm clock went off at 6 a.m. like it does every morning. And I had to laugh...I was waking up to, "Grease is the word, is the word, is the word..."

Then I came to a sudden realization. For as long as I can remember, I've preferred to wake up to the radio rather than the beeping of an alarm. But I can't think of one time that I can actually remember what song it was that I woke up to.

I guess I'm so out of it when I wake up in the morning that I don't even process what song is on and I go into auto pilot and turn my alarm off. Strange. I guess it's kind of like dreams you have that you can't remember. Until one night you have a dream that you do remember. And for some reason, this morning, I woke up to grease!

One Reason to Stay Single

2011-01-26T15:08:00.000-08:00

I can't remember if I posted this a long time ago, but I encountered it again and thought it was so hysterical that I had to share it. ENJOY!

A girl was out with some friends on King St. (in Toronto). A guy approached her and wouldn't leave her alone. He kept telling her how cute she is. She finally gave in handed the guy her business card just to get rid of him.

Here are TWO voicemails the guy left her. Hysterical, especially the second one. You can clearly see why she didn't call him back. Instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show and had them play the phone messages on the air.

http://www.melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

New Year, New Look, New Thoughts

2011-01-21T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hope you like the new look of my blog. I feel like I've made so many changes in my life in past few months that my blog should reflect that! A fresh look and a fresh outlook for the new year.

Yesterday I was reminded that I don't often remember what a BIG God I serve. And so often, I don't have because I don't ask. But why should I be afraid to ask God to do something "too big" or "too specific?" That's just silly. In fact, God wants me to think big and to be bold when I emplore Him. God wants me to be persistent like a child who will keep asking until their request is granted. My prayer is that I will return to the simpicity of my faith and be like a child before Him, unashamed to ask for anything from my Father who loves me.

God is so big, He even uses my sin to bring glory to Himself. That's tough for me to grasp. No, I don't want to sin. I need to flee from it and mortify it violently if necessary. But I WILL sin and God's grace is so big, God is so good, that He will use my sin for good. So what do I do? What is my job? I will strive to die to sin and rest in grace!

Tall Soy Chai Tea Late, Extra Hot, No Water and the Church

2011-01-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

There's something about a cup of chai that makes me feel happy, introspective, and ready to take on the day! The hot, delightful, liquid oozing down my throat, through my body, and warming my tummy is a wonderful addition to a cozy couch and my Bible.

And my thoughts drift to things I can't stop turning around in my head. I read something that transformed my thinking about how to view the church. It's a concept I'd ever really thought about before. The church is the vessel through which God shows His grace to His children. That is why He has given the church instructions to devote ourselves to the teaching of the Word, the breaking of bread, to prayer, and to baptism. All of those are things...teaching, communion, prayer, baptism...those are ways that God lavishes us with His grace.

Church is about God giving us His grace. It's not about what I "do." Even when I "do," I am simply a vessel of grace that God is using to bless someone through me. What a humbling concept. WOW!

What in the world?

2011-01-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

I'm wearing warm, fuzzy, black gloves (the kind where you fingers are free, but your thumbs stay warm.) If you were wondering, that's how I can type and wear gloves at the same time with no problem.

I was out of town for the holidays, but I'm told that it snowed in the Santa Clarita Valley while I was gone! WHAT? All I can say is, "What in the world is going on?" Since when does it get this cold in CA? Yeah, gotta love that global warming we are having.

Well, the holidays are over, I can feel it. No, I can't really explain it. I'd just look stupid trying to detail how I can almost feel the festive spirit in my heart slowly fading with each decoration I put away and with the Christmas music fading in my head. There's a holiday energy that I can literally sense dwindling away. But I know it will come back next year, it always does.

A strange Christmas

2010-12-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

This has got to be the strangest Christmas of my life. It was my second Christmas without my mom. Last year my dad and I went to Uganda for Christmas to be with my sister, so it was a huge distraction to celebrating the holiday without my mom. I'm sure you can imagine—the vaccinations, the travel, the excitement of going to a new country, of seeing my nephews—it was such a unique Christmas, it was easy to mask the fact that we were missing my mother.

This year Christmas snuck up on me. I didn't think it would be hard, but it was. I didn't realize that not only is my mom gone, but this was my first Christmas ever without my sister. It made for a pretty strange Christmas this year. It was just me and my dad. It wasn’t bad, just different. It was quiet and it felt empty in a lot of ways.

Yeah, Christmas is about kids and family. But I’m glad that is not what it’s really about. Because when the kids are in Africa, and family is scarce, there is still reason to celebrate. God, the Creator of the universe humbled Himself and became a man. He was born as a baby in a manager, in a humble stable. That is the God I serve. And I’m so thankful.

Song of the Day

2010-12-20T16:50:00.000-08:00

Last Christmas

I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?

Well it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
I meant it, now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

[Chorus]

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

[Chorus 2x]

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover buy you tore him apart
Maybe next year I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.

Isn't it Ironic?

2010-12-12T16:05:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I had something good and didn't realize just how good it was until it was gone. Instead, I wanted something else, something slightly different. I didn't mean to, and didn't realize it, but I tried to change that good thing and ended up losing it. Now after all this time, I have what I wanted before. But I don't want that anymore. I want what I had. So I gave up what I don't want, but I still don't have what I do want. Isn't it ironic?

They say what goes around comes around. I really believe this is true, and right now I am getting a taste of my own medicine...exactly what I deserve.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

Five years ago if you explained what my life would look like today, I wouldn't have believed you! Life (so far) has turned out very differently than I ever expected. But at the same time, I am so thankful.

I was thinking about all the things I have to be thankful for. I really am so blessed. I serve a great God who is kinder to me than I deserve. Why am I often so ungrateful? Why do I complain and grumble about my situation when I should be shouting out praises for his goodness toward me.

I'm glad for Thanksgiving, the small reminder of me to reflect on all I have to be thankful for. Hopefully the memory of turkey and pumpkin pie will tide me over until next year.

Bucca and random thoughts...

2010-11-13T18:08:00.000-08:00

I went out to dinner with some friends the other night and we had an interesting conversation on the way home. We were talking about what to look for in a guy. I've been thinking a lot about what really matters to me. I think my perspective is changing a little bit the older I get. Because I see how hard it is to find a guy who genuinely treats a woman the way a woman should be treated.

I never thought of this before, but a godly woman should be treated like a gem, because she is. There are so many wonderful women and the guys are not treating them with the huge amount of respect they deserve. How a guy treats a girl is much more important than I ever thought.

Something is seriously wrong with the way that Christian men and Christian women interact these days, and I pray God will give me the wisdom and discernment to find a man who is a real man. It's not as easy it seems.

Reconnecting

2010-10-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

I had dinner with an old friend last night. There are some people you can go without seeing for ten years and still feel like nothing has changed. There's comfort in those friendships, like an old blanket or a worn sweater.

When life gets confusing, friends who have known you for a long time can help give you perspective. They will be honest with you, like no one else. You may not always like what they have to say, but deep down, you know they're probablly right.

Everyone should have friends like that.

Overwhelmed

2010-10-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like God was heaping blessings on you? That's how I feel. I feel extremely overwhelmed at how kind and generous my God is. I feel like things are going too well, like I am just holding my breath waiting for another trial to come, waiting for something bad to happen. But for the moment I am going to try to enjoy the torrent of good things the Lord seems to be giving me. And I am going to purposefully remember to be thankful and to constantly tell God how grateful I am to Him. And I will seek to be dependent on Him in the easy times as I am in the rough times.

I am so unworthy of the grace God bestows on me everyday. And each good thing He gives me is a reminder of how God uses the unworthy, the low, the weak--that is me!

Sure, I have my moments, things are still hard. But I serve a good God.

Good News

2010-09-23T14:03:00.001-07:00

Last night at high school Bible study we talked about the gospel, the good news. As Christians we throw that word around a lot, but what does it really mean? Do we really understand the gospel? Are we able to clearly articulate it to others?

Then in small group I got some really exciting news. One of my girls accepted Christ as Savior on Monday night, just three days ago! I can't even tell you how encouraging that news is. This girl was fooling herself and lying to herself as well as to other people and on Monday night the Lord opened her eyes. I am rejoicing and Scripture says the angels are rejoicing too!

I am so thankful for the good news, the gospel of Christ. I am in desperate need of the gospel everyday--it's not just for the unsaved.

"I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God unto salvation." Romans 1:16

Change, Scary and Exciting

2010-09-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not good with change--it freaks me out and sometimes even the thought of it cripples me. I'll even sometimes avoid making decisions because I know the inevitable consequence is change.

I don't know why I'm such a creature of habit. But I'm learning that change can be good. Change can give the Lord room to work in my life in ways that wouldn't be possible if I held on to the status quo. If I get out of my comfort zone I'm forced to recognize my dependence on the Lord and to trust Him and lean on His sovereignty. Change puts legs on my faith.

"Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness."
-Psalm 107:8-9

An addition: After I wrote this post I had Panda Express for lunch and my fortune cookie said, "You will make a change for the better." HA! HA!

Go Fishing, Look at the Stars, Get a Massage, Finish My Book

2010-09-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

On Saturday my pops took me "deep sea fishing." We took a boat from Long Beach with a group of about 20 other people. It was kind of chilly and don't ask me why, but I wore flips-flops. Flips-flops do not bode well in a slippery boat and it doesn't feel too good to have your feet in a puddle of cold water for 4 hours. My dad took home 2 scopin fish and had to throw back 5 that were not quite long enough to meet the cut. For those of you mathematicians out there, that makes a total of 7 catches for my dad. And my grand total? None, zip, zero, zilch, nada, however you say it, it all means the same thing--I CAUGHT NOTHING! But I still had a blast out there with my dad, taking in the fresh air.

Another one of my birthday resolutions was to sit in the back of my car and look at the stars. Now, for all of you astronomers out there, Northridge is not the best place to look at stars. In fact, I sat in the back of my car, truck, SUV, tank, whatever you want to call it, and I looked at a hazy sky. I did see one star. It was a beautiful star. It twinkled. I wished on it, since it was the brightest star in the sky. It was the only star in the sky. I'm convinced it still counts.

Getting a massage had to be my favorite resolution. It was an easy one to keep. I found a little hole-in-the-wall massage place near my house and my friend joined me for a massage. She opted for a 30 minute one and I got an hour. The lady was so nice, she gave me a little extra time and even showed me some exercises I can do. It was fabulous. Everyone should do it.

This last resolution is the one I am most proud of. I finished my book! It is called Annabel West. It's about a girl with a twin brother who lives in New England. Her father suddenly decides to head west to find gold and drags the family with him to fulfill his dream. The story takes place during the gold rush and is about their adventures getting to and living in the west! Who knows? Maybe someday I'll get published.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. BIRTHDAY LIST, DONE!

Fix the Curtains, Eat Dinner Alone, Run 10 Miles

2010-08-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

Check. Check. Check. I am really racing to finish my list before my birthday comes! In the last week I've done several of my birthday resolutions.

First, I fixed the curtains in the living room. Last year I put up some blinds, but didn't realize they were unfinished on the other side, so from the outside of the house it looked like we had white sheets hanging in the window. FINALLY I found some sheers to put up behind the blinds to solve the problem.

There is this tiny Mexican food restaurant right on the corner by my house and after my entire life of living here, I have never eaten there. One of my resolutions was to eat dinner at a sit-down restaurant alone--since I've never done that before and wanted to see what it was like. The meal was yummy. And it was fun to eat alone.

The most I've ever run at one time is 8 miles. I wanted to challenge myself, so I decided to make the goal of running 10 miles. On Saturday morning I woke up at 5:30am and set out to run 10 miles. It was going pretty well, but after mile 6, my hips started to hurt and my legs were hurting too. But I pushed it through and made it to the end. My hips were a little sore the rest of the day, but I feel good today. I think I'm ready for a 1/2 marathon!

My Adventure to Hearst Castle

2010-08-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hearst Castle is nearly 4 hours from where I live, so I thought it would be fun to make a road trip of it and go with some friends. Since my birthday is so soon, today was my only free day to accomplish this task. It just so happens that all of my friends were busy today and no one could go with me. Something in me dreaded the thought of going alone, so I almost didn’t go. But something even stronger in me told me that I had go—even if it meant going alone. I wanted to have this experience, I wanted to have this adventure. I couldn’t let my singleness keep me from it.

So I went. I enjoyed the beautiful drive down the coast and I had a wonderful time touring the castle and learning the fascinating facts about Mr. Hearst and his party abode. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining, but not too hot, and a slight wind cooled the air without being too gusty. The scenic view from the top of the castle was astonishing and made me imagine what Hearst’s guests must have felt like as they drove up the long, winding, road in their limousine. And I met a few really nice people who were on the tour as well--2 girls and a guy about my age. They were very friendly.

The nice girl at the snack shop gave me a free croissant and later a guy working there gave me a 1/2 price coffee. Don't ask me why...I guess they are just nice people.

Before I headed home I went on a brief walk on the beach and let the freezing air blow through my hair until I couldn't take anymore and got back into the car and headed on my trip home.

I had the best day I’ve had in a long time. Yes, at times I did feel lonely and wish I had a friend or better yet, someone special, to share the experience with, but I didn’t. And that’s okay. I feel more empowered and confident because of today.

Oxnard or Bust

2010-08-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been “at a loss for words?” In the last week I’ve experienced that feeling in ways I’ve never known before.

I spent the week in a chilly but beautiful beach-town called Oxnard. Hundreds of missionaries from around the world sent out from my church gathered together for a time of refreshment, encouragement, and challenging seminars and sermons. The theme? Marriage.

I was part of a team of about 25 people who helped watch all of the missionary children so the parents could take part in the conference without distractions. I was assigned to the 3-5 year old group. And as you can imagine, our room was busting at the seams with an intense energy and vivacity. I love how some of the boys were all boy! They just had to run and jump and wrestle and hit and pull. It was a task calming them down. And it was fun to cuddle and comfort the shy crying girls who missed their mommies.

A peek into our classroom might reveal a puppet show, or singing time, coloring, or story time, Bible time, potty break, or perhaps snack time. Or you might find us at the pool, doing craft time, or watching a video. We had a blast—and I think the children enjoyed themselves too. I was also able to spend a significant amount of time with a precious disabled missionary child named Hannah. Hannah needed some special attention, so I was able to stay close to her for most of the week to attend to her needs. Hannah had her 14th birthday in the middle of the week—the same day as our zoo field trip, so I was able to take Hannah to the zoo and do my best to make her birthday a special one.

Now that this exhausting but incredible week is over, I am truly at a loss for words. I learned so much this week about myself—my selfishness, my hunger for personal comfort, my flirtation with materialism, and so much more. I was challenged and inspired simply by being in the presence of devoted, faithful, missionaries who willingly and sacrificially devote themselves to ministry.

Go horseback riding

2010-08-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

I fulfilled another birthday resolution while I was at camp the other week! One of my resolutions was to go horseback riding. I had the opportunity to go horseback riding with Deja (who I mentioned a couple of posts ago). We had a lot of fun. It was so beautiful and serene, and I felt like I had to be quiet the entire time and just take in the beauty. The sun was shining and warmed my cheeks and the sky was blue and unblemished by clouds. I could smell nature--the freshness, the dirt, the trees, the flowers, the moisture all combined to give off an amazing fragrance. Of course it helped that we were out of the state in Glorieta, New Mexico.

As I sat on the back of a strong, powerful horse named Garry, I thought about how quickly this year passed. I can't believe how soon my birthday is! I'd better jump on these last resolutions before my time is up. Wish me luck!

Home Again, Home Again

2010-08-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I'm back from summer camp. I'm tan, I'm sore, and I'm tired. :)

We had an 18 1/2 hour bus ride to Glorieta, New Mexico and then 5 days of intense preaching, small group, and the craziest games you can imagine, then a 17 hours bus ride back home. But not before eating breakfast at Cracker Barrel! It was a blast. My favorite part was talking to the kids who were on the sidelines, not into the games--those are always my favorite students--and we had some great conversations. I praise God for the opportunities I had to talk to students about the gospel and to tell them about how God saved me. I'm so glad I was able to go this year.

I was the official camp blogger, so if you want to read more about camp, check out www.regenblog.com.

Regeneration

2010-07-25T14:47:00.001-07:00

Hi, friends. I'm off to Glorietta, New Mexico for HS summer camp in just a few minutes. We'll get back home on Saturday afternoon, so I'll be gone for a week. If you think about it, please pray for me. Some friends of mine invited their neighbor to be part of camp. Her name is Deja. She'll be in my small group and I'll be rooming with her. She wasn't raised in the church--in fact I think her first time at church was last week when she came to visit. I'm really excited about this ministry opportunity, but pray that Deja will feel comfortable with me and that I'll have opportunities to share the gospel with her and live it before her in the coming week. Pray for Deja's salvation!

Thanks, everyone. See you in a week!

Beauty For Ashes

2010-07-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

I just saw this song on a blog I've been following and I think the words are beautiful. The particular verse below stood out to me:
Beauty from Pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
-Superchic

That reminds me of a song my mom used to sing:
Beauty For Ashes
He gives beauty for ashes,
Strength for fear,
Gladness for mourning,
Peace for dispair.

So encouraging and so true. He makes all things beautiful IN HIS TIME. When I feel like the words of the first song are true in my life, which I often do, I rest in this truth!

Examiner.com

2010-07-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

If you take the time to read my blog, you'll be interested to know I've become the LA Relationship Angst Examiner for Examiner.com. So far I have three articles complete.

Check it out here.

Thanks for your support!

Toe Ring

2010-07-07T13:37:00.000-07:00

I figured I'd better start concentrating on my birthday list again if I want to finish everything before my birthday! Next on the list:
Wear a toe ring.

I've never worn a toe ring before. But you have to understand some history to know why I wrote this as one of my resolutions. My dear friend and X-roommate Sandi had a toe ring that she never took off. NEVER. NEVER. I'm not kidding. NEVER. She has worn this toe ring for 12 years now? Is that right, Sandi? So, several years ago when Sandi got married I begged her to take off the toe ring for the sake of her husband. But guess what? SHE DIDN'T! If I'm not mistaken, Sandi is still wearing the toe ring to this day!

So, I had to find out what is the big deal about toe rings. Hence my birthday resolution to buy a toe ring and wear it. And you know what? I do kind of like it. :) I won't tease you anymore, Sandi. But when or if I get married, please make sure I take it off! :)

Another Quirk of Mine

2010-07-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

I might sound psycho, but cleaning gives me a strange sense of fulfillment. When I see the fruit of my labor--when I clean something that was filthy and it looks shiny and nice, it gives me this great pleasure. After I clean I feel a sense of accomplishment. Ahh...it's been a good day.

Scatter-Brained

2010-06-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

I never thought of myself as a scatter-brained person. Until now. I keep forgetting and misplacing important things, and there is no excuse for it. I need to get my act together. :) This mindless trend is not good to have when you're taking a trip out of state for a wedding. (Bite lip here.)

So this weekend my friend Holly got married! I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and had the blessing of going to Denver, Colorado to be part of Holly's special day. Holly has some amazing friends that I was privileged to meet. It was a great bridal party and I'm thankful to know that Holly is surrounded by so many wonderful friends. And I look forward to visiting again!

So maybe I had a few mishaps along the way, but God is gracious and everything worked out well. And I did learn some important lessons:

1. You can't always trust GPS.

2. Don't karaoke after 10 p.m.

3. People in Denver actually return things to the lost-and-found.

4. You can nap comfortably in a rental car.

5. Never iron a wedding dress with an old iron.

6. Never challenge Erin Robles to a game of checkers.

7. You don't know when or where you'll meet interesting people.

8. You don't have to pay $25 to check a garment bag on an airplane.

9. If your plane gets into LAX at 7:30 a.m., you can get your luggage and still get to work in Valencia by 8:44 a.m.!

The Holy Spirit

2010-06-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

It's interesting...a pastor at my church preached a message almost 2 weeks ago about the Trinity. It was a clarifying sermon for me and reminded me that the Trinity is perfectly unified. We can't place more emphasis on any one aspect of the Trinity over the others without getting into trouble. Augustine said something to the effect of, "Try to understand the Trinity and lose your mind, deny the Trinity and lose your soul." I think he said it right.

This summer we are doing a study on the Holy Spirit. I'm really excited to do study this topic more because I don't think I have a good enough grasp yet on the importance of the Holy Spirit and how it relates to the Trinity.

I'm so thankful to the Father for His headship, and I'm thankful to the Son for His submission unto death, and I'm thankful for the Helper, the Holy Spirit.

Praise God from whom all blessing flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Orange Chicken, Lakers, and Car Hunting

2010-06-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

I love my dad. And I don't spend enough time with my dad. So tonight I made orange chicken and salad and actually sat down at the table with my dad for dinner and we shared a meal together--that hardly ever happens!

I've also been car hunting. I think it's time for me to buy a new car and my dad and I have been doing a lot of discussing about what car I should buy. My little CRV has served me well, but Chole is starting to wear out, I'm afraid. Looking for a car is such a confusing process and a big investment and I want to make a wise decision, so I'm glad I have my dad to give me his two cents or more accurately his too sense. :)

And right now as I type this, my dad and I are watching the Lakers game together like we used to do when I was little. I remember I would sit and watch sports with him and he would pay me a dollar to give him a back rub. HA! HA! Well, no back rub tonight, but I am enjoying just relaxing and enjoying a game with my papa. I'm glad my next resolution is to go fishing with my dad.

A Shout Out to My Family on the Other Side of the World

2010-05-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

I've been missing my sister A LOT lately. And I asked her to send me more pictures of my adorable nephews because I haven't seen them in so long. My sweet sister obliged Auntie Nea and sent along a couple of pictures to hold me over.

I am blessed to have a brother-in-law and sister who love the Lord and serve Him to the point of great sacrifice, and who raise my nephews to fear and love Jesus Christ. I've been praying often for Nico and Nate, that they will grow to be godly, mature Christian men who cherish God's Word and who deeply love their Savior and that some day they will gently, lovingly lead their wives and families. I know it sounds crazy, but yes, I have been praying for my nephews' future wives.

When I look at this family picture, all I see is God's love, His power, His providence, and His grace. And it makes me worship Him all the more deeply.

Visit Cornerstone (Hear Francis Chan)

2010-05-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

For several years now, I've been meaning to go to Cornerstone and hear Francis Chan preach. I've tried a couple of times in the past to go to his church and hear him, but as it were, it never panned out. The one time I went, there was a guest speaker and another time he was sick or gone on vacation. So a few weeks ago, I heard an announcement that surprised me, along with many other people. Francis announced that he was moving on from his pastoral position at Cornerstone. He has been the pastor there for about 15 years. He said he thinks God is calling him elsewhere. He doesn't know if that means to start another church in the LA area, or if it means the mission field. But it was certain his time of pastoring Cornerstone was up.

After getting that news, I realized I'd better go to Cornerstone and hear him preach, quick, before he was gone. Hearing him was one of the tasks on my birthday resolution list. So the very next Sunday, I met up with my friend Stephanie and went to a service at Cornerstone. Francis preached on the parable of the soils and explained that many will hear and not be saved, but we are just to faithfully spread the seed until the very end.

It was a good message, and I went away encouraged by what God is doing in the lives of other churches. I'll be praying for this transition time for these dear people in the weeks and months ahead.

Paint a Picture

2010-05-10T21:40:00.001-07:00

I am privileged to know an amazing woman named Belinda Del Pesco. She is an incredible artist and an intriguing person. When she heard about my birthday resolutions she was generous enough to agree to help me "paint a picture." Belinda went above and beyond anything I expected. She made me an incredible dinner and gave me an art lesson. I picked up so many tips and learned so much from her just in one night. I was amazed at the thought she put into the evening to help me out and to teach me about the art of making art. I'm so thankful for Belinda's friendship and hope to have other paint dates in the future.

Here is what I created! Take note of what is in the corner of the pictures of me painting. Belinda said that two key ingredients to a good painting are chocolate and tea. THANKS again, Belinda!

God's Economy

2010-05-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

So often I think of the highest good as my comfort and my happiness. But in God's economy that couldn't be further from the truth! God wants my holiness and if that means me being uncomfortable and going through trials, then so be it. The end result is worth it.

The question is, do I REALLY believe that God has my best in mind? Do I REALLY believe God's promise that He does not withhold any good thing from His children? Do I REALLY believe God loves me? Do I REALLY believe He hears me when I cry out to Him? Yes, yes I do with my whole heart! But so often I live in my economy and think I deserve good and I'm selfish and stubborn like a child when I don't get my own way. But I'm learning to trust. I'm learning to let go of my desires and to submit my will to His. I'm learning to be thankful and to rest in His sovereign control over all the circumstances of my life.

I'm not there yet, but I'm learning. And that's progress, that's sanctification.

Go To A Monster Truck Rally

2010-04-26T09:39:00.001-07:00

Can I just say this was way more fun than I ever expected! It was so awesome--the atmosphere was tingling with excitement. I know how people get hooked on this. My adrenaline was going big time as I felt the vibrations and throbbing of the cars zooming by. I can't imagine the thrill that the drivers get. My hearing was gone and my head ached for about an hour afterwards, but it was well worth it. It was a great way to spend my cousin's first day in CA.

BATTLE

2010-04-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

I'm reading Perelandra by C.S. Lewis. The bulk of the book is basically a spiritual battle for the soul of mankind. Like when Satan tries to tempt the woman in the garden to disobey God. So Weston tries to tempt the woman to disobey Maleldil while Rasom is the voice of reason trying to convince the woman that her highest good is obedience to Maleldil.

Right now in some ways I feel like I have Ransom and Weston on both sides of me vying for my attention. And I need to be reminded what is my highest good. My highest good is to obey my Creator. No matter what twisted logic the world tries to throw at me, I know that the outcome for my good is when I obey, even if I don't understand the purpose of the command. I must obey out of love for my Creator.

"I think He made one law of that kind in order that there might be obedience. In all these other matters what you call obeying Him is but doing what seems good in your own eyes also. Is love content with that? You do them, indeed because they are His will. Where can you taste the joy of obeying unless He bids you do something for which His bidding is the only reason?" -Ransom

Eat Something Exotic/Wear a Hat to Church on Easter

2010-04-06T16:40:00.001-07:00

Exotic
I planned my friend Jen's bachelorette party. It was over a month ago. Jen is now happily married. (She's been married 3 weeks now). But I did fulfill one of my birthday resolutions at the place we went for her party. It was a great little tea house in Pasadena called The Scarlet Tea Room. For an appetizer we ordered something very exotic--tempura squash blossoms stuffed with manchego, ricotta, almonds, and romesco. I can't even tell you what that is, but the waitress said it tastes out of this world, like it's from a different planet. So we took her word for it. And it was YUMMY.

Easter
So I knew I'd get teased if I wore a hat to church on Easter. And I was right. I got comment after comment about my "Easter bonnet" which was nothing close to a bonnet. But I don't care. You see, when I was little, my mom used to have me wear hats to church all the time, especially on Easter. So it was fun to do it again...it's been a LONG time and it felt like a little tribute to my mom.

A Golden Weekend And a Lesson on a Plane

2010-03-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

Birthday Resolution: Visit my friend Holly

Holly lives in Denver so it was an adventure to go visit her. I met Holly's fiancé, Marty, which was great. Marty is a real, funny, down to earth, nice guy. I'm excited to see God working in his life and for him to marry my friend!
It was a quick weekend. Holly and I did some wedding stuff. We went shopping, walked in the park, and visited a little town called Golden. Golden is the famous home of the Coors beer factory, but since I don't drink we passed on the Coors tour and free beer and opted for Starbucks, a nice walk along the main street, and some fun photo ops. Holly asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, so I'll be going back to Denver in June!

A situation on the plane ride home got me thinking. I sat on the aisle seat next to a guy about my age and in the window seat was a pretty gal about my age too. The two of them were talking—I wouldn't say flirting—but talking. The girl was definitely a sweet, friendly girl. When we landed and the lights came on, I could see things more clearly. The girl in the window seat had a huge rock on her ring finger on her left hand! Yes, she was either engaged or married. And I wondered, would that girl's fiancé or husband be happy if he was an observer of his woman's conduct on her plane trip? No she didn't technically do anything wrong—she could argue that she wasn't flirting.

But I began to think—aisle lady's conduct was on the edge, toying with the line of too friendly—too friendly for the status of engaged or married. And not to impose something spiritual on a simple story, but I thought to myself, I have a status as well. I am engaged, betrothed, to the King of the universe. Does my conduct demonstrate that status? Or am I flirting with the line of being too familiar, too friendly, with the world? Is God cringing at my conversation with the guy next to me on my proverbial "plane?"

I want to walk in a manner worthy of which I am called. I want to cultivate an attitude of thanksgiving. I'm ashamed of myself for being discontent and for grumbling and complaining in my heart at where God has me. I want to DELIGHT in what the Lord has placed before me, not just endure it.

Psalm 37:23-24
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholds him with His hand."

PBR

2010-03-22T09:16:00.001-07:00

Another birthday resolution--watch a bull ride.

I did a google search to find out when the next professional bull ride (PBR) would be close enough for me to actually go. And I found a bull ride in Fresno. So I went ahead and bought two tickets. Yes, Fresno is 3 hours away, but I thought it would be a fun road trip and part of the whole adventure. Jen, my great friend who I've known since high school, agreed to go with me. I think I was much more excited than her, but she still enjoyed herself!

I can't even explain how much fun this was. We chatted the entire car ride there, which actually seemed to go pretty fast. And then we stuffed our faces at The Old Spaghetti Factory before heading to the gigantic Save Mart Center arena.

The bull ride was INTENSE. Every ride carried with it the looming possibility of someone getting trampled or horned by an angry bull. There were several close calls and some scary moments, but thankfully everyone walked away. I loved the atmosphere! I totally felt in my element--country music, polite, masculine gentleman holding doors open for me, calling me ma'am, and tipping their hats. It was great! I was shocked that the MC even began the event with a prayer...and not just a generic prayer but, "Jesus, please forgive our sins." Then he asked for protection and blessing over the animals and the athletes and that the men would stay safe. WOW. It was pretty cool if I do say so myself!

Anyone want to go to the PBR finals in Vegas, let me know...I'm totally up for it! :)

Laugh Til I Cry

2010-03-09T10:32:00.003-08:00

There is one birthday resolution that I wasn't sure I would accomplish. Laugh til I cry. I've never laughed that hard before, at least not that I can remember, so I wasn't sure if this year would be the year. And it's not a resolution that I can cause to happen by any planning or will of my own. It just had to happen, naturally.

I owe it all to my coworker, Bridget. She has the most contagious laugh of anyone I've ever met. It's a cross between a cackle and someone laughing so hard they are gasping for air. Just seeing Bridget laugh, makes me laugh.

The other day was a very strange day at work. It seemed that everyone was punchy. Everyone was joking around and just having a fun day. I spent part of the day helping Bridget with a project and we were both getting a little punch happy. I made a joke that I didn't really intend to be a joke, but it came out the wrong way and Bridget started laughing hysterically. That got me going. And neither of us could stop. The harder Bridget laughed the harder it made me laugh. And then it happened...tears started to roll down my cheeks!

Laugh til I cry. CHECK.

Finish Reading Narnia and Harry Potter

2010-03-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

I realized that I wasn't reading enough so one of my birthday resolutions was to finish reading the Harry Potter and the Narnia series. (Two different resolutions, but I'm grouping them together since they are similar.)

First I finished the 7 Harry Potter books. While some were better than others and more enjoyable to read, Harry's story was brilliantly told. As much as many Christians have against the series, I enjoyed the magical world of Hogwarts and I'm glad I read the books. I wouldn't recommend that a younger child read them, but a discerning young person or teenager would do well with some discussion and guidance. I love how J.K. Rowling tells back story and recaps information without being boring or redundant. She's brilliant at it and I want to implement that into my own writing.

Then I finished up the last 3 of the 7 books in the Narnia series. I had read the first 4 with my mom, but we never got around to finishing them. All of the books were amazing, of course. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader was my least favorite, and my favorite was was The Silver Chair. I could barely breathe at the end of The Last Battle as C.S. Lewis used his imagination and biblical knowledge to describe what heaven will be like. I teared up reading it. Lewis had an insight into heaven like no one I've ever met. Even though the Narnia books are fiction/fantasy, I really think God gave Lewis a special gift--these books--that have encouraged and given insight to believers for years.

Right now I'm reading "The Chosen" (on recommendation by a coworker) and after that I'll start the Lord of the Rings series...no I haven't read that yet either.

Start a Band

2010-03-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

"Just get you a guitar and learn how to play, cut up some jeans, come up with a name. When you’re living in a world that you don't understand, find a few good buddies, start a band, start a band. Start a band." -Brad Paisley

A dear friend and I are singing in a wedding in less than 2 weeks. So, the other night we got together to practice. We were enjoying ourselves, having a wonderful time. After a great rehearsal our singing morphed into an improv jam session. The guitarist was picking away with some cool sounding tunes and we simply opened up a Bible to the book of Psalm and started singing Scripture to the tune. IT WAS SO FUN!

In fact, we enjoyed ourselves so much, we decided to start a band. We are going to get our act together and start playing at coffee shops.

If you have any suggestions for a band name, feel free to share!

A Dead Rat

2010-02-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

A few days ago while on my morning jog, I saw a huge rat in the middle of the street. It was lying on it's side twitching, jumping, convulsing--I wondered if it had been hit by a car. I know it's a RAT but my heart felt compassion towards this little creature and I wished there was something I could do to put it out of it's misery. I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing, just simply finished my run. But not without this little experience leaving an impression on me.

Watching that creature die reminded me how imminent death is! And strangely, watching it writhe in pain reminded me of my mom's suffering. And I wondered--couldn't everyone just die peacefully, painlessly in their sleep? Why the suffering? And to be honest, I'm not sure I have a great answer. But I do know one thing, the pain, suffering, and fallenness of this world make me long for heaven with more zeal, passion, and urgency than I ever have before. Maybe that's the point.

If God knows when a bird or a sparrow falls, He certainly knows when a rat does too. Nothing is beyond His knowledge and control, and nothing is out of His loving hands. I needn't fear the future. One day I will be face-to-face with death like that rat...it will be my moment. God knows that exact moment and has ordained it. His ways are higher than mine and beyond my understanding. Proverbs says for a lesson in life to look to the ant. I looked to a rat. It's just like God to use a rat to speak to me!

"A god who does not rule all things absolutely is no God at all--but only a weak, frustrated, defeated idol, carved from one of the trees in the dark forest of man’s depraved imagination!" -Don Fortner

I know that the LORD is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods. The LORD does whatever pleases Him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths! -Psalm 135:5-6

All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have You done?" -Daniel 4:35

Pay For A Stranger's Starbucks

2010-02-18T14:44:00.000-08:00

The other day I ordered from a drive-through Starbucks. The perfect opportunity to anonymously pay for the person behind me! So I ceased the opportunity to accomplish another birthday resolution.

At the window I asked the cashier, "Can I please pay for the car behind me?" She said, "Sure, do you know them?" And I answered her honestly and said, "No, I don't know them." She looked kind of surprised and said, "What should I tell them?" And I said, "You can tell them that I serve a generous God and so I wanted to do something generous for someone."

The lady smiled and said, "Maybe they will pay it forward." I said, "Maybe." And I smiled back, paid for the strangers grande mocha caramel frappaccino, and drove away.

A Year Later

2010-02-11T11:53:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was exactly one year since my mom passed away, went to heaven, died...however you want to say it. The point is, she's gone.

I'll never see her smile again, or the twinkle in her bright blue eyes. I'll never again sit at the dinner table with her or ask her to do me a favor. I'll never go to another play with her or bake another batch of apricot cookies with her. We'll never watch another episode of Dancing With the Stars together or critique the American Idol contestants together. I'll never again call her to chat on the way home from work, ask her for advice, or sing a song with her. No one will ever be as honest with me when I ask for criticism, no one will be as hard on me when I need to be pushed, and no one will love me like my mom did.

But I do know this...

My mom is happier than she has ever been. My mom is at total peace and total rest. My mom is with her Savior. My mom is whole and complete. She is without sin. My mom would not come back if she could. And I wouldn't want her to.

I know this...
One day I will see my mom again and I will sing with her again. But this time no sin and no flesh will get in the way of singing praises to God. And I know that God is good and everything He does is good, and is for my good. Those aren't just words...it's TRUTH.

I told my friend the other day, cancer did not take my mom's life. God, in His infinite love, wisdom, and mercy, called my mom home on February 10, 2009. God is the giver and sustainer of life. He gives and He takes away. And I will bless His name.

My very talented friend wrote a poem many years ago after her father died and she shared it with me yesterday. Here's a short piece of it that really resonated with me and encouraged my heart:

"Having given, the Father,
Having been given, the Son,
Being now given, the Spirit,
Triune know, oh they know, and
Are one in comfort,
And as our tears flow,
So theirs;
They know.
They know.
They more than know.
The Lord does not just provide;
He is our provision; and there is nothing lacking.
Yes, tears still come, bewilderment and sorrow recur;
He doesn’t just say, stiffen that upper lip;
He says “Come to Me. . . and I will give you rest.”
And He does, oh yes, He does."

Contact My Long Lost Uncle

2010-02-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't spoken to my uncle in probably 20 years! He's been estranged from the family I guess you could say. I decided--now that I'm an adult I should try to reach out to him. I was nervous and felt stupid, but I swallowed my fear and sent my uncle a letter and a CD of my mom's memorial service along with my contact information.

I was surprised to receive a brief by very nice email in response right away! WOW. So I emailed my uncle a picture of our family and more details about our lives these days. I don't know where this communication will lead but I'm thankful the Lord opened this door. And I want to be faithful wherever it may go from here.

"Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and take big risks for the glory of God." -Tim Pickard (my first HS staff Bible study shepherd)

Birthday Resolution- HOLD BABY LUCIANO

2010-01-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

Baby Jakob was too comfy in his mama's tummy, so he took a little while longer than expected before he decided to come into the world. But finally after an extra week of hanging out with mom, he was born! I am so excited for Sandi and Allan and I know they are going to be wonderful parents. God is so good!

I was able to go to their house last night and meet baby Jakob and hold him for a while until it was time for him to eat. He's got dark hair like his papa, dark blue eyes (which will most likely change color) and I'm convinced he has his Aunt T's chin. He's a cutie! I'm thakful yet another birthday resolution is done...especially this one because I didn't have to do anything...my friend did all the work! :)

The Newest Member of the Brown Family

2010-01-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION: GET A PET OF SOME SORT

I wanted to get a turtle, but it turns out that the aquarium equipment needed for a turtle is $180. Or else I could buy a tortoise for $100. And lizards, snakes, frogs...all need heating lights and their habitat also cost $180. Wasn't planning to spend that much money.

Please welcome the newest member of the Brown family:
RAY

Ray the fish loves to change color, he loves to stare, he loves clean water, and he does not play well with others (other beta fish, that is).

God's Promises

2010-01-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

The most amazing I've ever seen...right out my window at work yesterday. Made me meditate on and rejoice in God's faithfulness to His promises. The picture was taken with my cell phone and does not do it justice at all. But enjoy it all the same!

Pet

2010-01-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

I'm going to get a pet to fulfill another birthday resolution. I need your help. What should I get?
1. Fish
2. Hampster
3. Rabbit
4. Bird
5. Turtle
6. Gerbil
7. Guinea pig
8. Lizard
9. Snake
10. ROCK

See My Nephew(s) In Person

2010-01-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

When I made my birthday resolutions, on my list was "see my nephew in person." Well, in the few months that have passed since then, my nephew turned into nephews (plural) when my sister and brother-in-law received a phone call that there was a little boy in need of a home. The day after Thanksgiving, my sister brought home Nathaniel James Karabo Mitchell. What a gift! In fact in, my sister had been praying for specific details about another child and God kindly answered YES to all of those prayers...like Nathaniel was a special gift all wrapped for her! And how fitting that Nathaniel means gift as does Karabo (chair.ah.bow.) his African name.

So my mission was to see my NEPHEWS in person--mission accomplished!

Two days before Christmas I headed out with my dad for Uganda. Everything went smoothly and after a ten hour flight, and a lovely, but very fast tour of London (I was the tour guide), we spent the night and headed out the next morning for a seven hour flight into Entebe (Uganda).

It was such a joy to see my sister and Caleb and the boys, despite an allergic reaction I had. I was rashy, itchy, and swollen-eyed, but I was one happy girl. We celebrated Christmas late and Nico opened up his gifts. I got to see how my sister lives. We got to meet friends, ministry partners, and "family" members. We jumped up and down and danced as we worshipped at church. We ate "Matokey" with G-Nut sauce which is boiled bananas with peanut sauce, a savory, traditional Ugandan dish. The bananas taste more like potatoes.

We spent New Years with my sister's good friends and had an AMAZING meal--two different kinds of beef/roast with veggies, yummy rolls, popovers, and cookies, potato donuts, and tea for dessert.

We went to the source of the Nile where we saw the spot that Lake Victoria feeds into the Nile (you can see ripples where the salt and fresh water are "mixing"). We also went on a hike in a rain forest where we got bit by fire ants and saw a few monkeys. Our guide told us, "Don't eat that tree, it will kill you." And then two trees over, he said, "Eat this tree, it will help diarrhea." HA! HA! HA! Call me unadventurous, but I didn't eat any trees.

I even got the whole market and craft fair experience. I bought fabric and a very nice Ugandan auntie is making a tradition African shetange for me. I will have it in a few days. There is no hot or even warm water, often the power unpredictably goes out and can be out for days. We boil the milk, boil water for warm baths, the clothes are washed and hung to dry and ironed to kill the eggs the mango flies leave behind. You don't want them to burrow and hatch a worm beneath your skin. We slept under mosquito nets as a defense against malaria. And overall had a grand ol' time.

We had a little family celebration for Nico's 2nd birthday. He turns two years old on Jan. 17th. It was fun to watch him open gifts. It was amazing how much his coordination developed in just two weeks. He had a hard time opening Christmas gifts, but did just great for his birthday. Maybe he learned that we weren't just asking him to rip paper, but there was something in it for him under that paper. :)

Nate and Nico took their first bath together where they played and splashed and had fun as brothers should. I took lots of pictures. I'm back in one piece, my luggage was only a couple days behind me, and I'm recovering well from jet lag, so I can't complain. Thanks everyone for your prayers. God is good. I am so thankful for this experience!

A Couple of Bucks

2009-12-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

I've been rethinking my position on giving money to homeless people standing on the street. Over the years I've gone back and forth about whether or not to give to them. You know the argument...they will just spend it on alcohol or drugs. And I've heard stories of people watching a "bum" turn around and drive away in a nice sports car. But the more I think about it, Scripture doesn't say to be kind and compassionate and giving IF you think you agree with where the money will go. That is out of my control. I am just to spread the love of Christ and let the results work themselves out.

So, on the way to work today, I stopped and gave an old man a few dollars. I've seen him standing with his sign on the street for weeks. The smile on his face was worth it. And it's cold outside...if he needs to warm himself up with a beer, I guess that's not my problem. :)

I don't know...what are your thoughts?

Going to the chapel...again

2009-12-14T14:46:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's time...again! Yet another dear friend is getting married. I'm so excited for one of my best friends Jen, who recently got engaged to her boyfriend Earl Hammon. She asked me to be in her wedding....this will be #13 for me, and she asked me to be her maid of honor...this will be #4 for that job.

The fun times have already begun...we're going dress shopping tonight!

Can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for my sister in Christ and I know the next few months are going to be special and fun to spend together. YAY! for the way God works!

Serve at a Homeless Shelter for Thanksgiving

2009-12-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

Some things on my list of thirty things to do before I'm thirty take longer than others...I've been working on it, trust me. But nothing has been completed enough to talk about, until now.

I did cross another thing off my list last week...serve at a homeless shelter for Thanksgiving. And I did! I went to Church on the Way and served Thanksgiving dinner to people staying at the SanFernando Valley Rescue Mission.

It was an awesome experience! I've served there before...a few years ago, but forgot how much I enjoyed it. And My dad came with me too!

I got to meet so many wonderful people. Their smiles, thank-you's and sweet attitudes were a slap to my pride. It was fun to be their "server" and even more exciting that the gospel was presented so they received spiritual food as well as physical food. I pray the Lord will give me more and more a heart for the lost as I grow to love what He loves and hate what He hates.

My New Nephew

2009-11-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

Nathaniel James

I'm Exercising My Civil Rights :)

2009-11-23T18:36:00.000-08:00

Yes, Rick Holland would be so proud of me!

I had big plans for Saturday. My alarm didn't go off and I was running late, but I dragged myself out of bed, threw on jeans, a shirt, and a sweatshirt and headed out to the shooting range! I drove with a friend up to Sanfransiscito Cyn. in Santa Clarita. I love that drive, up the dirt road into the middle of nowhere until we finally came to the shooting range where I shot a pistol for the first time!

I have to admit, it was fun!

After a few rounds I got a feel for the gun and was hitting the target pretty much every shot by the time I finished off the amo.

But that wasn't the end. I got to shoot a rifle for the first time too. Didn't practice on that one yet...next time. But I did fire off two shots to get a feel for it. That's a lot of power in the hands of a little person like me. ;)

Thank you constitution of the United States of America. :)

Free Latte's and God's Sovereignty

2009-11-13T10:03:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Coffee Bean, for the free ice-blended pumpkin spice latte and the chance to sit and have an encouraging chat with my friend. :)

I'm blown away by God's sovereign love and care. I see more and more that He orchestrates each detail of our lives (mundane as they may seem) to bring about His plan. Every choice I make, every phone call, every e-mail, God has strategically woven together in a intricate pattern to bring His will about in my life and even in the lives of others. He intimately knows and deeply cares about what concerns me. Nothing in my life goes unnoticed or untouched by Him.

That kind of detail shows a tender love I know I don't deserve.

People Are Crazy

2009-11-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

I've done some stupid things in my life. But several days ago I think I topped myself! I blame the full moon.

When I got out of my car in the Rite Aid parking lot, I saw a poor little dog locked up in the car next to me. It was hot, 89 degrees, and the windows were up. The poor tiny pooch just looked at me and smushed it's little nose up against the window, panting. The dog looked like it hadn't been fed or bathed in ages. I couldn't take it!

Now here is where my lack of better judgement comes in. I saw that the car door was unlocked. So I quickly opened up the car door and rolled down the window so the dog could get some air. Then I walked over to Starbucks and got a cup of water for the dog. About 30 minutes passed when the owner finally came back. He was an angry man who cussed me out for thinking I was super woman and that I could save the world. After a ten minute rant, the guy finally left and took a picture of me on his cell phone as he drove away. HA! HA!

O my! Next time just remind me to call animal services. Again...I blame the full moon. :)

Malachi

2009-10-29T10:17:00.001-07:00

My friends Wes and Rachel Smith lost their 3-year old son this morning to leukemia. My heart is breaking for them but I'm not mourning without hope. Christ conquered death when He gave His life on the cross and rose again--and we have hope that little Malachi is in heaven rejoicing with his Creator. And with my mom. Malachi means "Messenger of God" and this is God's message to me through Malachi:

God's Message

God said children are a precious gift—
Malachi is God’s messenger of that truth.

God said He works everything for good for those who love Him—
Malachi is God’s messenger of that promise.

God said He is the Great Comforter—
Malachi is God’s messenger of that attribute.

God said He knows every hair on our head—
Malachi is God’s messenger of that fact.

God said He loves the little children—
Malachi is God’s messenger, proof that’s true.

God said He gives us the grace we need for each day—
Malachi is God’s messenger to help us experience that grace.

God said He formed us and knew us intimately before we were born—
Malachi is God’s messenger, evidence of that care.

God said He is sovereign—
Malachi is God’s messenger, demonstrating that reality.

God said He can use the faith of few to increase the faith of many—
Malachi is God’s messenger to bring that to pass.

God said life is a vapor—
Malachi is God’s messenger, reminding us to live that way.

God said He is preparing a place for us—
Malachi is God’s messenger, causing us to dwell on thoughts of heaven.

One Reason Why I Don't Internet Date :)

2009-10-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

Online
By: Brad Paisley

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
But there's whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace'

Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look real good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
I’m so much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A.
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein,
I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs
That would blow your mind

When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Hair Cut Picture...Just For You, Joy! ;)

2009-10-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

Just because you asked...

Hair Cut

2009-10-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to me that something as simple as a haircut can make you feel like a new person. When you feel like you need a change or you need to move on or past something, there is nothing better than a haircut. I say this only because I am too chicken to dye my hair or something even more extreme, so for me, a haircut will have to do. I high recommend it. If you're having a bad day, try it out. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Change Something About Myself That I Don't Like/Plant Some Flowers

2009-10-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

The closer I grow to the Lord, the more I see my sin, and the more I hate it. Sometimes I feel like I have so far to go, but as I fight my sin with the Lord's help, each day I will be conformed more and more to His image. That's why on my list of 30 things to do this year, I said that I want to work on something about myself that I'd like to change. It wasn't a difficult choice. While I have many weaknesses I could choose from, there is one glaring thing I want to focus on growing in this year.

I've been this way my entire life...opinionated and strong-willed. I know how things should be and I know how I want things to be. Unfortunately that trait often lends me to unwittingly try to control my circumstances. It's out of a desire for security and stability. I want to feel like everything is nice and neat and in order. That's wrong. And it's my biggest, glaring fault. I realize that I can't control anything. God is in control. And the only way to feel that security, peace, and safety is to be settled in Christ.

Since recognizing the severity of this sin in my life, hopefully I've already come a long way. But I know practically I still have a very long way to go, and I'm taking steps everyday to put others first before my own desires and to trust in God and not my own wisdom.

And I did plant some flowers. My lovely friend Melissa gave me a plant of sunflowers for my birthday so I decided to plant them in the front yard. I've never planted anything before...it couldn't be that hard, right? I didn't want to get dirt under my fingernails and I know my mom gardened a lot, so I searched through my mom's gardening things in the back yard, and found everything I needed. I got gloves, a little shovel, and little pick for hard dirt. I picked my spot in the front yard next to some other plants and I dug dug, dug until it was deep enough for the plant to sit flush with the ground. I filled in the ground around the plant and gave it lots of water.

It's been several days and the plant is dead. Yes, dead. Dried out and shriveled up. I guess this attempt was not a success, I'll have to try again.

30 Things I'm Gonna Do Before I'm 30

2009-09-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

1. Finish writing my book
2. See Hearst Castle
3. Finish reading the Harry Potter series
4. See my nephew in person
5. Write a song
6. Finish reading the Chronicles of Narnia series
7. Eat at a restaurant alone
8. Go fishing with my dad
9. Pay for a stranger's Starbucks
10. Go for a 10 mile run
11. Eat something exotic (sushi?)
12. Wear a toe ring for a day
13. Watch a bull-riding contest
14. Wear a hat to church on Easter
15. Get a massage
16. Paint my dad's bedroom
17. Watch a monster truck show
18. Get a pet of some sort
19. Visit Francis Chan's church
20. Ride a horse
21. Write a note to my long lost uncle
22. Work on changing something about myself that I don't like
23. Laugh so hard I cry
24. Sit in the back of my car and look at the stars
25. Hold baby Luciano
26. See my friend Hollie
27. Serve at a shelter for Thanksgiving
28. Plant some flowers
29. Fix the curtains in the living room
30. Paint a picture

Sounds Like Life to Me...

2009-09-22T09:58:00.001-07:00

Sorry for quoting a country song again, but it seems fitting to me today. It's a song about everything going wrong in someones life--he lost his job and just found out his wife is having another baby, and things are breaking around the house, among other things. And his friend gives him advice and says, not to be insensitive, but that sounds like life to me. And it's true.

I'm realizing...life stinks sometimes, but that doesn't change God's character. Even when I can't understand the way God works and why He does what He does, I still know He is trustworthy. And I know He loves me. It's back to the basics--Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.

I occasionally get discouraged by my sin that I try so hard to fight. It can bring me down and make me feel worthless and unlovable. But that reminds me...I am unlovable. That's what makes God's love for me so amazing! He saved a wretch like me. But even more, He has called me into His marvelous light and made me a coheir with His son. And He uses me to further His kingdom. It makes me want to shout, hallelujah, thank You Jesus, Lord You're worthy!

I am a broken and bruised reed, but that's a good place to be, because that's when He can use me.

The Jury is Out

2009-09-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

Jury duty.
I don't dread it. But many do. I don't give excuses to avoid it, though many try. And I am not bitter and resentful during the process. But many around me are.

Perhaps that is why I got selected to be on a jury this past week after getting my summons to serve. But honestly, I found the entire experience to be enjoyable and educational. Forgive me, I sound like a ridiculous commercial for the positives of jury duty. But really, I did have a good week at the Van Nuys Superior Court.

Here are 10 things I learned this week while serving jury duty:
1. Always leave your house a few minutes early.

2. Never eat Quiznos for lunch two days in a row.

3. Don't talk to strangers who approach you and say, "hey there, little one."

4. You can carry a water bottle through security, no need to put it through the x-ray machine.

5. Never keep 13 people waiting for you.

6. Never use a DA, hire your own defense if needed.

7. Don't run from the police.

8. Use every opportunity to evangelize.

9. It's hard not to feel sorry for the guilty party, even though you know they are guilty.

10. People are crazy!

Ideas...

2009-08-31T09:08:00.000-07:00

I watched the movie Julie & Julia and I was inspired. It's about a lady who decided to cook her way through Julia Child's entire recipe book in one year and each day she would blog about it. My birthday is coming up in one week and I will be 29. I decided, I want to do something special during my 29th year or as my friend calls it, my "year of becoming 30." I'm trying to think of what I should do to challenge myself and inspire my 3 blog readers.

My initial idea is this. I will think of 30 things I want to do before I turn 30 and I will attempt to complete them all. And I'll blog about it along the way. What do you all think? Have any better ideas?

Does This Sound Like Me?

2009-08-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

ESFJ Personality Type

ESFJs focus on the outside world and assess their experiences subjectively. They largely base their judgments on their belief system and on the effects of actions on people. ESFJs are literal and concrete, trusting the specific, factual information gathered through their physiological senses.

ESFJs project warmth through a genuine interest in the well-being of others. They are often skilled at bringing out the best in people, and they want to understand other points of view. They are serious about their responsibilities, seeing what needs to be done and then doing it. Generally proficient at detailed tasks, they enjoy doing little things that make life easier for others. They value tradition and the security it offers.

Easily hurt, ESFJs seek approval. They take pleasure in other people's happiness. They give generously but expect appreciation in return. Sensitive to the physical needs of others, they respond by offering practical care. As expert people readers, ESFJs often adapt their manner to meet the expectations of others. However, they may have difficulty recognizing the shortcomings of loved ones.

ESFJs tend to be vocal in expressing their sense of right and wrong. Their value system derives from the external standards defined by their community, as opposed to a personal set of ethics. (This is one of the traits that distinguishes them from their ENFJ counterparts.) ESFJs raised in an environment of high ethical standards tend to display true generosity and kindness.

ESFJs seek structured, controlled environments, and tend to be good at creating a sense of order. They generally feel insecure in an atmosphere of uncertainty. They value the rule of law and expect the same of others. ESFJs may be less interested in understanding the concepts behind the rules, tending to shy away from the abstract and impersonal.

Old Friends, Vanilla Lattes, and Carmel Apples

2009-08-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

In a snap, ten years passed, just like that. My friend, who I haven't seen in years has been through a lot of changes in a decade. She's been married, moved twice, and had five kids in the process. The other night I went over to her house to hang out. It was so much fun! She is such a sweet mom. She made her girls "vanilla lattes." I kind of wrinkled my nose at this...a 2-year-old drinking a latte? But then I saw what she meant by latte...she steams milk and puts vanilla syrup/flavoring in it. Then she tops it off with whip cream. And voila...a vanilla latte fit for a 2- year-old. :)

And I must share...last night I made carmel apples for the first time. It was so much fun. And it's so easy. I thought it would be so complicated, but it's not! But this could be dangerous. Now that I know how to do it and how easy it is, I might make them all the time. While that's good for the taste buds, it's not good for the waistline. HA! HA!

Verizon Nightmares!

2009-08-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

My cell phone stopped working. Took it in to the Verizon store. They confirmed it was broken. Didn't think it was the battery. Sent me a refurbished replacement phone. Realized my phone was working just fine. It was just the charger that wasn't working. Got my bill from Verizon. They charged me $267.10 for the refurbished phone. Called Verizon in a rage, but acted as nice and calm as possible, I am a Christian, after all. :) They assure me they will take that charge off my bill when they receive the phone which I mailed back this morning. Couldn't I buy a brand new IPhone for $268.10? But a REFURBISHED chocolate? Give me a break!

Am I the only person who thinks FAMILY SHARE PLAN assumes you will have 2 phones (at least)? Then why is the second phone only given to you with a $10.00 monthly charge for an EXTRA line? HA! HA! HA!

O, they joys of having a cell phone! Life was much simpler before them.

Stuck

2009-08-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

It was Sunday night. A warm, summer evening. And my friend Chuck had just been baptized at church. Several friends from Bible study joined Chuck at his apartment to celebrate the occasion. We talked, laughed, ate pizza and cake. And then we headed for home.

Ten of us were leaving at the same time. I declared that I was going to take the stairs while everyone else headed toward the elevator. Someone yelled out that there were stairs in their direction, so I joined them.

At that moment, the elevator arrived. Everyone piled into the tiny elevator and motioned for me to just join them. So I did. We piled 10 people into that elevator! It was squishy and hot, but we all made it.

As we waited for the ground floor, I joked. How crazy would it be if we got stuck in here? Then bam! We were stuck. Just like that. And it was hot. And we were cramped. We laughed, then realized this was no joke. The guys tried to pry the door open, but couldn't. We called the fire department. We sang "It Is Well With My Soul." And we prayed.

By then our rescuers arrived. They pried the door open with an ax. It took no time at all. We took a few pictures, thanked them for helping us, and laughed a lot more. We thanked God for protecting us. It was crazy...but fun. I didn't think being stuck in an elevator could actually be a somewhat pleasant experience!

On the Road Again...

2009-07-24T15:01:00.001-07:00

Well, it's off to summer camp. :) Since I didn't go to camp last year, I think this is #6 for me. But honestly, it never gets tiresome. I love watching God work in the lives of the students as the lights go on and they are seeking, understanding, and obeying truth.

We leave on Sunday morning, bright and early, and will return on Thursday night. This camp will be especially special :) for me because the speaker is Ken Ramey. Ken Ramey was my high school pastor!

Please pray for us while we are gone. Safety and health, but more important that significant spiritual growth happens in the lives of the students and staff. And please pray for me personally as I lead my small group of girls.

The powers that be have asked me to be the official "camp blogger" so if you're interested, you can read all about 180 camp happenings on a daily basis at www.thecostcamp.com.

Decisions Are the Worst

2009-07-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate it when you have to make really important decisions, but honestly don't have a clue what to do? Even after you've prayed extensively and sought wise counsel, sometimes things still don't seem clear.

I just recently finished reading a book called "Just Do Something." The book is about decision-making. And it's really making me think. I'm becoming more and more convinced that we have too many choices nowadays which actually makes life much more difficult.

Years ago people really had no choice but to live where they were born and to do the jobs their parents did. There was no battling over "career choice" or where to move to. They also stayed at the church where they were raised. No jumping around to find a church that perfectly suits your style. And maybe there were 2 Christian women or men in town around the same age. So they married one of them. Life was simple. Life was easier.

Maybe there is something to be said for the way people lived 50-100 years ago.

New Book Smell

2009-07-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

Do you love your kindle, but feel like it’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi? Spray it with "New Book Smell" and get that satisfaction you’ve been missing.

Smell of Books comes in four additional aromas: Classic Musty, Crunchy Bacon, Eau You Have Cats, and Scents of Sensibility, for Jane Austen fans.

“Now you can finally enjoy reading e-books without giving up the smell you love so much. With Smell of Books you can have the best of both worlds, the convenience of an e-book and the smell of your favorite paper book.”

All Quiet on the NeaNea Front

2009-07-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

I've been reflecting a lot on what my life has been like the past 6 months. I can tell you one thing for sure. I am not the same person. I am not the same Christian. I say that because I've grown so much in my walk with the Lord, I can't even recognize the person I was. I feel like I've been through a crash course in practical Christian living that has matured me and made me more like my Savior.

I am starting to understand why Titus tells the OLDER women to teach the YOUNGER women. Now don't get me wrong, I know someone "young" can understand Scripture and give wise and helpful counsel. I don't look down on youth. But after seeing how dramatically my life has grown in just 6 months, I understand better that an OLDER woman has so much wisdom to impart to me. There is no substitute for gray hair and the time and life experience it takes to earn them.

Change

2009-06-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

When little things in life start changing, it never stops. Then one day you wake up and suddenly everything has changed--nothing seems the same. In my life, when change happens, it always seems to happen fast and abruptly and it can be overwhelming at times.

I often look back and wonder how I ended up where I am today. Working at Grace to You, living with my dad, my sister living in Uganda, and my mom in heaven. It seems crazy how nothing has turned out the way I expected.

But, in the midst of all the change, I know the One who never changes. I know the One who turns and shifts not. He is steadfast and I can anchor soul in Him, as well as anchor myself to Him in regards to my everyday worries, concerns, and thoughts. Praise God who is the alpha and omega!

California Dreamin'

2009-06-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night.

I was in a wedding. It was Hannah Schoof's wedding, which is odd because Hannah is not Hannah Schoof anymore...she is Hannah Ledwell, and I wasn't in the wedding. In my dream, Hannah's wedding was in Malibu at 5 p.m. I was supposed to be there at 4 p.m. which is also odd, because if you are in a wedding, you are usually there more than an hour before it starts. HA! HA! And in my dream, my sister was making me late. It was after 4 p.m. and my sister was still laying on her bed with cucumbers on her eyes. I was furious! And my sister was mad at me for being so "uptight." Don't know if I ever made it to the wedding. I'm glad my alarm woke me up! I'm glad it was just a dream. And I'm glad Hannah is happily married and none of her bridesmaids were late. :)