Tears of Joy and Tears of Sadness

I just read the blog of Emily Chapman (Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter). A close-up picture of her with a pretend shocked look on her face hinted at her excitement. And the story she shared below confirmed the news. She got engaged only a few days earlier. Then I heard the news that the five-year-old adopted Chapman daughter, Maria, was killed when her brother Will did not see her, and hit her while he was backing out of the driveway in an SUV.

And I thought to myself, life is like that. It has ups and downs and sometimes both at the same time. But one thing that does not change is the person of Jesus Christ who has sovereign power over all of those ups and downs. He gives and He takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Brokenness

Hebrews 7:24
“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
It’s humbling to see what a wretched sinner I am. Pride, self-sufficiency, and lack of trust, are but a few of my gross deficiencies. What a repulsive, dark, and festering place are the recesses of my heart. I could easily wallow in the abomination of my flesh and become a helpless, useless, mess.

Hebrews 7:25
“I thank God––through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
But praise God, He has enabled me to experience glimpses of victory over the flesh here on earth and eventually perfect freedom from sin in the life to come. He has forgiven me and washed me––though my sins are like scarlet, He has made me white as snow. Jesus, thank you!

A Funny Childhood Memory (Inspired by Jen's Funny Childhood Memory)

I was about 6 years old. My dad had just spanked me (which I am sure I very much deserved). I walked into the room and up to my father. I pulled down my pants and pointed to a red mark (the remains of the spanking). And I said to him, "look what you did! I hope you're happy!"

I think I deserved another spanking.

Alone

We were not created to be alone. In fact, when the Lord saw Adam functioning alone, he said, "it is NOT GOOD." That was the only time in creation the Lord ever declared something NOT GOOD. But then when God gave Adam a helper suitable for him, He said, "it is VERY GOOD!"

I've heard that truth many times before and thought, "well okay, that's nice." But lately I've been so encouraged and so thankful for the body of Christ and how it functions because we are not created to walk through the trials of this life alone. We are to come alongside one another, comfort one another, mourn and rejoice with one another, and pray for one another.

So many requests have been sent my way lately:

-friends who recently had a miscarriage and lost their baby.

-a friend who recently lost her grandma to sickness, then lost her aunt to an "accidental" fire, and then found out the fire wasn't an accident. It was set by her uncle who is now in jail.

-a lady who recently nearly died in childbirth and is caring for a very sick baby. She fell off a horse and is now in a coma.

-a couple who almost lost their baby. Their baby stopped breathing, and the dad was able to resuscitate her, but she is currently in NICU for tests to find out what is wrong.

-a husband and wife who must decide if the husband should have surgery on his throat with the possibility of surviving cancer. The surgery would mean he could never eat or talk again, he would breathe from a whole in his neck. But the surgery will not guarantee anything.

Makes my "problems" seem very small. I am increasingly and abundantly thankful for dear friends in Christ who love me and serve me and help me know that I am not alone. Whether that means a phone call, a long walk, a late-night talk, whatever it is, I praise God for the dear friends He's put in my life!

Fair

Things in life happen that are just unfair. Either, I've been, hurt, misunderstood, misinterpreted, mistaken, mistreated, the list goes on and on. But the lesson I am learning becomes more and more clear--Christ is all I need. My sufficiency is in Him alone. Only He can satisfy. The concepts and principles are not new to me, but I am experiencing them in a way that is more real to me than ever before. I am so dependant on Him for all things. So instead of fighting against the trials the Lord places in my life, I resolve with all my might, to embrace and enjoy them like a precious gift from a loving Father.

There's this great song from Sovereign Grace Ministries that I've been listening to, and it says this:

When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision
It’s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley’s where You make me more like Christ

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You’re near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley’s where Your power is revealed

How I Feel Today

"I was getting coffee last week, and I heard a little girl ask her mom if she could get a 'decapitated cup 'o chino.'"

- My friend J.M.

On Relationships

Lady Astor: "Winston, If I were married to you I'd put poison in your coffee."

Sir Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Hope

J.C. Philpot once said, "it is good and gracious for God to disappoint our plans." It doesn't feel that way when our hopes are disappointed our are expectations are crushed. But I know this wise, godly, man was right. And I have to remind myself each day that God's plan is better than my own.

Info

Services for Jeanne Clutterham:

Saturday, March 29, 2008
11 am
Grace Community Church
13248 Roscoe Blvd., Sun Valley, California 91352

Like a Wave

A Noble Saint is in Heaven

Dear Friends,

With profoundly mixed emotions, I'm writing to tell you that our beloved sister in Christ, Jeanne Clutterham, is now in heaven. With her family at her bedside, the Lord took Jeanne peacefully at around 4:30 this afternoon.

God graced our lives deeply with Jeanne's love, joy, faithfulness, and courage throughout her noble fight with cancer. The hope of heaven is sweeter today than it was yesterday knowing that Jeanne is in the presence of Christ; our earthly lives will feel the loss until we ourselves are in heaven. We thank God for Jeanne's life and that He has now fulfilled His purposes for her which He prepared before the foundation of the world.

The family is working on arrangements for a memorial service, and we'll be sure to pass those details along to you as soon as we receive them. For now, please pray for Jeanne's equally noble husband, Bill, who stood beside her with such remarkable tenderness and compassion through the years. Also, remember Jeanne's children, Sarah, Rebekah, Joshua, and Matthew, and her dear parents, Bob and Jane Rankin. Their loss is very real and will be felt deeply.

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints" (Psalm 116:15).

Love in Christ,

Don Green

Rejoicing With Affectionate Memories

I am joyfully celebrating the homegoing of my friend Greg Dominguez. Greg was an example to me in several areas--his humble service, his disciplined study of the Word, and his passion for prayer. After a long and difficult battle with brain cancer, Greg’s faith was turned to sight and his hope of glory made a reality on Friday March 14, 2008.

The Human Body is Amazing

I'm flabbergasted at how the Lord has created the human body with the capability of doing some amazing things. I watched a T.V. show on the Discovery Channel about the body's ability to survive in extreme situations and I stood in awe at God's creative power. Not just His creative power, but the artistic, masterful, detailed, and complex care with which He crafted the human body.

Check out this website to see what amazed me:
http://www.discoverychannel.co.uk/humanbody/_home/index.shtml

Chortle, Shepherds', and other Miscellaneous Thoughts

Chortle:
My feelings today can be summed up in a line from Lewis Carrol's famous poem, The Jabberwocky:
"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy."

Shepherds':
Today at work the building is bustling with activity because it is the week of our annual Shepherds' Conference at church. The reason we are busy here is because people are curious about John's ministry and want to see the Grace to You building for themselves. It's fun to have lots of people poking their heads in and out of my office and to see the smiling faces of people eager and happy to be here. I really do praise the Lord that I am at a church that is equipped, gifted, and blessed enough to train up men and to encourage weary pastors that need support, motivation, and a recharge (even if it is just for 5 days) .

Misc:
I'm depressed that I was in Boston on super Tuesday for my aunt's funeral and was not able to vote in the primaries. :(

I Cry Out!

I recently found out that my friend's mother passed away unexpectedly. And this is all I can say:

There are so many things I don't understand. But I'm slowly realizing that's okay. It's precisely my inability to understand that drives me to my Savior, that forces me to trust in Him and Him alone. My good intentions mean nothing. My ability to help means nothing. God will do whatever with whomever he chooses and I can't question His infinite wisdom. Even beyond that, God loves me and His care is so tender for me. He is not an unfeeling dictator, and every painful circumstance I face or witness is a loving nudge from Him to make me more like Christ. I throw my hands up and cry out, "God, I don't understand!" But I trust. I trust your wisdom, your promises, and your goodness. I will stand strong with my eyes firmly fixed on Him. I will press on.

Truths That Have Become Very Real to Me in the Past Week

- God controls every detail of my life.
(Proverbs 16:9)

- The Holy Spirit is the great comforter.
(John 14:27)

- I need not explain myself. I should be quiet as Christ was before His persecutors.
(Isaiah 53:7)

- Mary did not justify herself. She waited on God and she pondered things in her heart. I should do the same.
(Luke 2:19)

- Submission is not easy.
(1 Peter 2:13-15)

- I can't please everyone and shouldn't even try. I need only concern myself with pleasing God.
(Matthew 10:28)

- God is my sufficiency.
(Psalm 73:26)

- God's forgiveness is lavish.
(Micah 7:18-19)

- Truly trusting God is the key to everything.
(Proverbs 3:5)

- Always think the best about people in every circumstance.
(1 Corinthians 13:7)

I'm Learning...

I've learned so much about myself in the past couple of days, it's overwhelming! God is so good to grow us and stretch us even when it is extremely painful at times.

“Unlike the people-pleaser, who worries himself sick when he senses that he may have displeased someone by his words (or actions), the person who pleases God knows how to dismiss such anxiety with the assurance that he has, in fact said (or done) that which pleases God. Now it’s not that the God-pleaser never wonders whether he could have said things better, or that he never ponders a more biblical course of action than the one he took, or that he doesn’t listen to valid criticism and ask for forgiveness when he knows that he has sinned in the process of trying to please God, but if he knows that he hasn’t sinned, he does not worry or fret about the consequences of his actions. He trust God to use what he has said or done for His glory, and he knows that God is causing all things to work together for his own good.”
-Lou Priolo
Pleasing People

Update

Hey friends! Thank you for all of you that have been praying for me and my family. As you know from my last post, my aunt has been very sick with cancer and was getting worse very quickly. Many of you have been praying for her. Well, yesterday evening my aunt went to be with the Lord. I thank God that she had a saving relationship with Jesus Christ and is with her Savior in heaven.

I will be going to the funeral which is in Massachusetts. I will fly out on Sunday morning and come home on Wednesday. Please continue praying for my cousins Liz and Justin and my uncle Paul who does not know the Lord. Pray for my uncle's salvation and also that I would be a help and comfort to my cousins and the rest of the family while I am there.

God gives and God takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. I praise God that through this trial His name is being glorified and I trust He is accomplishing His perfect will in my life and in the lives of my family members.

Prayer

Dear friends, please join in praying for my aunt, Laurene. She is extremely sick with cancer. The cancer has spread all over her body and she is so weak she can hardly move. They don't expect her to live more than a few days. My aunt knows the Lord, but she is leaving behind two children, Justin (15 years old) and Liz (13 years old). They profess Christ, but they are still young, so it's hard to know. Also, my uncle Paul professes Christ, but shows no fruit and he is extremely angry at God right now for his wife's illness. My mom is back in Plymouth, Massachusetts right now to be with her family and to help her sister as much as possible in these final days. Please pray that God would grant my aunt a faithful testimony until the last moment and that any unsaved family might come to know the Lord through this. Also pray for my young cousins, that God would grant them a supernatural strength to endure this trial and pray that my mom will herself remain healthy and that she will show the love of Christ to her family. Thank you for bearing this burden with me.

So Close, Yet So Far Away

This is old news, but today is the first day I could bring myself to discuss such a painful subject. Since the moment it happened, I've been ignoring, avoiding, and suppressing my feelings. Sunday was a hard day--a day I wish I could make disappear with the tilt of my head and the blink of my eye. If I could choose one day to erase, to vanish like a soft word into a gentle wind, Sunday would be it.

There is no point in avoiding it any longer. I have to say it! The Dallas Cowboys lost to the New York Giants 17-21. It's painful even to verbalize it. But there, I did it. The Cowboys are by far the better team, but a combination of bad decisions, bad plays, bad refs, and a bad day for our quarterback, the Cowboys couldn't pull out the win they needed.

This means that the Giants will play the Packers and whoever wins that game will most likely play the Patriots in the Superbowl. Unless by some crazy turn of events the Patriots lose this weekend to the Chargers, which is VERY unlikely.

MAYBE NEXT YEAR, ROMO.

A Vacation from Vacation

It seems life can change overnight. You blink and everything is different. The last few weeks have been a clear evidence and reminder to me that God is completely in control of everything. There is no part of my life that God is not actively a part of. God orchestrates and plans everything to the smallest detail. And I'm learning to trust Him more and more. Not just say I trust because it's the right thing to say, but to REALLY, truly trust Him. His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. He directs my steps even though I make plans. And a good friend reminded me that when we trust and wait on Him, He will do abundantly more than we could ever ask or think. I see God at work. He is active and alive.

My Christmas List

Today at a staff meeting at work I was reminded how much I have to be thankful for. Yes, at times life can be difficult and confusing, but I serve a God who never changes--the Alpha and Omega--the beginning and the end. Christ, who is my life, is sufficient for all things. I don't need acceptance from my family, friends, and even from people at church to feel that my Christian walk is justified. Christ is my sufficiency. This holiday I want to rest in His work on the cross and let all of my concerns and worries fade in the light of His glorious Son.

It's the Most Stressful Time of the Year

Strange how at Christmastime, when I'm supposed to be beaming with joy, peace, and Yuletide cheer, it's quite the opposite. I'm tired--exhausted actually--cranky, sore, busy, stressed, and slightly overwhelmed. As hard as I try not to let holiday festivities (gifts, cards, parties) become a burden, it's happening. I find myself growling at my mom when we're out of ribbon, or bursting into tears because I have too much to do and not enough time. No matter what I do to try to avoid this (ex. slowing down, planning/organizing, praying, trying to keep focused, deep breathing, etc.), nothing seems to keep the Christmas chaos from happening. Any suggestions?

Quotes Inspired from Friends

"Indeed if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
- CS Lewis

“I’m playing Gameboy,
Standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon.
I’m eating candy,
Sittin’ at a gourmet feast.
I’m wading in a puddle,
When I could be swimming in the ocean.
Tell me--what’s the deal with me?
I know the time has come,
For me to wake up and see the glory.”
- Steven Curtis Chapman

O Where, O Where Have My Socks Gone?

A few years ago, my friend gave me a pair of socks--a very special pair of socks. They are pink. And they say, ''boys are supid, throw rocks at them."

After wearing these socks once or twice, I let my cousin borrow them. And I've never seen them again. I miss my socks. They look like this:

If you've seen my socks, please contact me at jmbflower@aol.com

Helpless

I can do nothing apart from the empowering of Jesus Christ and His Spirit in my life. I realize that more and more everyday! I want to become less so He can become more. I read this today and it was so encouraging. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

"Do you desire to speak for Jesus -- how can you unless the Holy Spirit touches your lips?

Do you desire to pray? Sadly, what dull work it is unless the Spirit makes intercession for you!

Do you desire to subdue sin? Would you be holy? Would you imitate your Master? Do you desire to rise to superlative heights of spirituality? Are you looking to be made like the angels of
God, full of zeal and love for the Master's cause? You cannot without the Spirit--'Apart from me you can do nothing.'

O branch of the vine, you can have no fruit without the sap! O child of God, you have no life within you apart from the life that God gives you through His Spirit!"

-Spurgeon/Begg (Morning and Evening/Truth for Today)

10 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

1. I want to go on safari in Africa.

2. I want to do the tango in the rain.

3. I want to read all the books on my list.

4. I want to lead as many people as possible to Christ.

5. I want to get a massage.

6. I want to see what my hair looks like red.

7. I want to skydive.

8. I want to run a marathon.

9. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle.

10. I want to scream at the top of my lungs in the largest library in the world.

Cosas Necesarias

I need to pray, constantly.

I need to start eating breakfast more often.

I need to be in the Word every day.

I need to acknowledge God's presence every moment.

I need to wake up a few minutes earlier.

I need my friends to hold me accountable.

I need people to confront me with my sin.

I need to understand the difference between a "need" and a "want."

I need a nap. Or do I want a nap?

Memories

It's amazing the silly things we remember that will never leave us. I'm having one of those memories at this very moment. I was in a Halloween play in 6th grade. The premise was this--some friends were hiding in a graveyard to play a practical trick on a boy who "never gets scared." I was the vampire--the ultimate scare. Believe it or not, I even remember my line, "good evening creature of the night. Just stepping out for a bite?" (said in a Transylvanian accent of course). How funny. With that said:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Where Is God?

Smoke from countless fires contaminates the air around me--thousands have lost their homes, some have lost their loved-ones. Where is God? God is on His throne.

My mom has cancer. My aunt has cancer. Where is God? God is on this throne.

My friend has a brain tumor. My friend's little brother is in jail. My friend's baby has leukemia. My friend's dad has cancer. Where is God? God is on His throne.

We live in a fallen world. Bad things happen. Sad things happen. And the sovereignty of God is only comforting if He is our highest prize. If my mind is set on the things above, then no matter how bad things seem here, my hope and joy is found not in this world, but in the next. When the glory of God is my highest aim, then even in the midst of terrible circumstances I will be able to say, "blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Lord hear my prayer and my cry,
I lift my voice to You on high.
Bring comfort and peace to those in pain.
And may I dare not ever complain.
Help me find rest in You alone
You are God, You are on Your throne.

Little Things

The other day when I got home from work, I went into my room and my mail was sitting in a neat pile at the bottom of my bed. Such a simple thing, but it meant so much to me. You see, I've been staying in the house myself for the past few months and my dad recently came home. So to me, that pile of mail on my bed says my dad is a considerate gentleman. It says he was thinking about me. It says he went out of his way to serve me. And it says he loves me. Sometimes it's the little things in life that mean the most.

Tu t' amuse

VERY FUNNY
"A Colorado judge knows just where to hit noise ordinance violators: right in the ears.When a violator of the Ft. Lupton, Colorado noise ordinance is found guilty in Judge Paul Sacco's coutrroom, the perp is sentenced to a full hour of Barry Manilow and friends. The violators, who are often convicted of turning up their hip-hop music too loud, serve their sentence in Sacco's courtroom as he blares a loop of Manilow, Dolly Parton ("I Will Always Love You"), and Karen Carpenter through a boombox for an hour. 'When you have a person playing rap at extreme volumes all over the city, and they have to sit down and listen for an hour to Barry Manilow, it's horrible punishment,' Sacco told CBS in Denver. The city sees very few repeat violators."

VERY SAD
In her acceptance speech for Best Reality Program (My Life on the D-List) Kathy Griffin shouted an obscenity to Jesus and exclaimed, "This award is my god now."

FUNNY (AND SAD)
Back in 1971 a man named Mike Flynt was suspended from his sr. year of college football at Sul Ross State University for fighting. Now he is 59 years old and he just reenrolled and is going to play his "sr. year" of football. His old coach said, "He's an idiot." "Gosh dang, Mike, you're not 20 years old anymore. You're liable to cripple yourself."

Change of Plans

I had big plans for the weekend. I was going camping in Yosemite. And I was ready to hike Half Dome. God had other plans. I woke up feeling terribly sick--nauseous to be exact. It wouldn't be wise to sleep in a tent for two days and push my body to the limit by a challenging hike.

And I had to remember--put people above things. God wanted me to spend time with dear friends and their unsaved brother. God wanted me to catch up with a ministry partner, and God wanted me to be encouraged by a friend. None of that would have happened if my plans had come to pass.

I never stop, but God says he wants me to be still. When I'm still, He reveals things to me and speaks to me through His Word, and gives me a deeper and clearer discernment of events in my life.

I make plans, but God directs my steps.

Indicators of Pride

By: Dave Norton (adapted from Stewart Scott)

-Complaining
-Lack of gratitude
-Expectations not being met
-Seeing myself as better than someone else
-Inflated view of my importance
-Lack of using my abilities
-Self-pity
-Perfectionism
-Talking too much
-Seeking independence or control
-Caring too much what other people think
-Devastation because of criticism
-Unteachability
-Sarcasm
-Lack of service
-Lack of compassion
-Defensiveness/blameshifting
-Lack of prayer
-Resistance to authority
-Minimizing sin
-Jealousy, envy
-Deceitfulness
-Lack of close relationships

On Prayer

“Pour out your heart, and don't hold anything back. He sees right through us, He sees to the depth of our heart, how can we hide anything? Beseech Him, clinging to the cross, waiting upon Him patiently. He hears us and He wants us to tell Him the things that afflict us and trouble us in this life.”
-Greg Dominguez

Little Bit of Life

I went to a Craig Morgan concert at the House of Blues last night. Not only did I go, but I got to meet him! I am always impressed when a performer sounds just as good live as they do on album. Craig puts on a really great show--he has so much energy and is constantly UP. He is so gracious to his fans too. Craig signed the bed of a truck for one of his fans in a wheel chair! The band performed a new song called, "Looking Back with You." This song hasn't been recorded yet, but should be soon. The song brought tears to my eyes. It was written for Craig's wife--it's about growing old together and looking back on all the memories. It was really sweet. What a fabulous night. Did I mention, Craig is a Christian--that makes it even better! It's encouraging to see someone on the road of fame still walking with the Lord!

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Good Stuff (Drink it Up)

I read this article today by Darrin Patrick. My friend passed it along to me. I thought it was so good, I had to post it for you, my dear readers (few but loyal).

Discerning your Near Idols
By Darrin Patrick

That most basic question which God poses to each human heart: has something or someone besides Jesus Christ taken title to your heart's functional trust, preoccupation, loyalty, service, fear and delight? In order to get to the bottom of what the Bible calls idols, and what Dick Keyes calls your "heart title", ask yourself these diagnostic questions:

What other than Jesus has become your main source of significance, happiness, meaning and purpose?

What other than being a child of God are you using as your primary identity?

What have you substituted for God in your life?

What have you used to make yourself feel accepted or worthy before God, yourself and others?

Another way to discern our idols is to begin to take note about what we get emotional about as our idols are revealed because they arouse powerful emotions when our idol is threatened or taken away. If your begin to pay attention to your emotional life you can begin to discern your idols.

Questions that expose Near Idols (Keyes, Keller, Kaufman)

What do I worry about most?

What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to question whether or not I wanted to live?

What do I rely on or comfort self with when things go bad or get difficult?What do I do cope?

What are my release valves? What do I do to feel better?

What do I think most easily about? What does my mind go to when I am free? What preoccupies me? What do I daydream about?

What makes me feel the most self-worth? What am I the proudest of? What do I want to be known for?

What do I lead with in conversations?What do I want to make sure that people know about me fairly early on in the conversation or relationship?

What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God?

What do I really want and expect out of life? What would really make me happy?What is my hope for the future?

I am Thankful

The more time passes, the more I see God's grace in my life. Last night I was surprised by about 20 of my friends for a birthday dinner. I have honestly, never felt more lavished with love in all my life. I intensely felt God's favor and His hand of blessing upon me in such a vivid and real way. It was an experience I will never forget. What more could a girl ask for than to be surrounded by brothers and sisters in the Lord who want nothing more than for me to love Christ with all my heart and soul? I deserve judgment and hell, but God has given be nothing but long suffering and reward. It's amazing. It's incomprehensible. It's overwhelming. And I am thankful!

Attention Christians: It's Okay to Have Fun!

Christians are allowed to laugh.

Christians are allowed to enjoy themselves.

Christians are even allowed to be goofy and silly.

In fact, God tells us to enjoy life to the fullest in Him. I've been accused of "acting young" (being immature), but I think people have a false view of what "maturity" is. Maturity does not mean putting on airs and acting serious all the time. True maturity is the discernment to act appropriately in any given situation. Scripture calls that propriety.

It would be unwise for me to spend more time analyzing this--then I'd begin to worry too much about what other people think of me. My highest goal, my highest pursuit is to please Christ. I can't worry about fitting into any mold anyone else may have for me.

Some people take themselves too seriously--they need to learn how to enjoy this life that God has given them. It might do them some good to spend time with someone like me. :o)

Tale As Old As Time

Beauty lies within.

Charm is deceitful,
Beauty is vain.
But a woman who fears the Lord,
She shall be praised.

A Haiku

Inspiration

God is my shepherd--

Even the octopus knows.

Inspired by Jen.

A Reason to Smile

YOU, O LORD, HAVE MADE ME GLAD BY YOUR WORK.
Psalm 92:4

Do you believe that your sins are forgiven and that Christ has made a full atonement for them? Then what a joyful Christian you ought to be! How you should live above the common trials and troubles of the world! Since sin is forgiven, can it matter what happens to you now? Luther said, "Smite, Lord, smite, for my sin is forgiven; if You have forgiven me, smite as hard as You will." And in a similar spirit you may say, "Send sickness, poverty, losses, crosses, persecution, what You will. You have forgiven me, and my soul is glad." Christian, if you are thus saved, while you are glad, be grateful and loving. Cling to that cross that took your sin away; serve Him who served you. "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."1 Do not let your zeal evaporate in some little exuberant song. Show your love in meaningful ways. Love the brethren of Him who loved you. If there is a Mephibosheth anywhere who is disabled, help him for Jonathan's sake. If there is a poor tried believer, weep with him, and bear his cross for the sake of Him who wept for you and carried your sins. Since you are forgiven freely for Christ's sake, go and tell others the joyful news of pardoning mercy. Do not be contented with this unspeakable blessing for yourself alone, but publish widely the story of the cross. Holy gladness and holy boldness will make you a good preacher, and all the world will be a pulpit for you to preach in. Cheerful holiness is the most forcible of sermons, but the Lord must give it to you. Seek it this morning before you go into the world. When it is the Lord's work in which we rejoice, we need not be afraid of being too glad.

Spurgeon, "Morning and Evening"

What Would I Look Like As a Simpson?

To see Chela as a Simpson visit: http://marcella-marcella.blogspot.com

There's No Place Like Home

Well, camp is over. It's good to be back. I did have a wonderful time. Thank you everyone who was praying for our time. The Lord really did use it for His glory. Several students professed faith in Christ. Among them is Molly Dumas, Dan Dumas' niece. I had a chance to talk to her and share my testimony with her and answer some of her questions. I believe she really counted the cost and thought through the implications of being a Christian before she made a profession. Praise God!

The girls in my small group were very open and honest. I was blown away by their transparency and eagerness to grow. I believe Rick's messages from Ecclesiastes sobered them and got them thinking more seriously about life. I myself was challenged by the reminder of God's sovereignty, knowing that everything comes from His hand, the hand of a loving Father.

We had lots of twisted ankles, but nothing too serious. A girl named Annie and a staff member named Kelly collided in one of the games and hit heads--both of them ended up with stitches but that's all. The bus trips there and back went VERY smoothly. No "Bus Nazi's" like last year. It was truly a blessing.

Being the dork that I am, I didn't take any pictures, I got so busy and preoccupied. But if/when I get pictures from some of my girls, I will post them.

New Mexico

Well, my friends, it's that time of year again. The sun is hot, the sky is a beautiful smog-filled blue, and the mountains are a deep mahogany brown. That means it's summer and summer means one thing--high school summer camp! We leave on Sunday night for a 20-hour bus ride to Glorieta, New Mexico. I can't wait because camp is always such a wonderful time to spend with some of my girls and to get to know them better. I'd appreciate if you could pray for me while I'm away for the week. Here are some specifics you can pray for:

1. Safety- We are going far away which increases the chance of accidents on the road.

2. Health- It's easy to get sick because of the lack of sleep with the amount of physical energy we exert. It's no fun to be sick at camp.

3. Me and my girls- Pray for the Lord to give me wisdom as I lead small groups with my girls. Pray that I will have the right words to say and that the girls would grow in their walks with the Lord as a result.

4. Growth- Rick Holland is our camp speaker and he is one of my favorite pastors, so I know this will be a good time for me to reflect on my own walk and to grow in my own love for the Lord. Pray that the Lord would reveal my sin to me and that I would be teachable and repent.

Here are a couple of pictures from our last camp in January, winter camp:

A Great and Inestimable Mercy (Letters of J.C. Philpot)

It is great and inestimable mercy when our various trials and troubles are made a means of driving us to the Lord, as our only hope and help.

Those circumstances, outward or inward, temporal or spiritual, which…stir up an earnest spirit of prayer, make us cease from the creature, beat us out of all false refuges, wean us from the world, show us the vileness and deceitfulness of our hearts, lead us up to Jesus, and make Him near, dear, and precious--must be considered blessings.

It is true, troubles rarely come to us as such, or at the time appear as such--no, they usually appear as if they would utterly swallow us up! But we must judge of them by their fruits and effects.

Job could not see the hand of God in his troubles and afflictions. But it was made plain after he was brought to abhor himself and repent in dust and ashes.

I am very sure, if we are in the right way, we shall find it a rough way, and have many trials and troubles.

“God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:10-11.

Times Are A Changin'

I remember when I could exercise as much as I wanted, and not get sore.

I remember when I could go to the bank without being called ma'am.

I remember when summer was actually summer.

I remember when I could eat anything without feeling guilty.

I remember when 25 seemed old.

I remember when driving was fun.

Time goes by so fast, it's almost unbelievable. Years vanish like a shadow in the dark right before my eyes and I look back and have no idea where those years went. Now I understand why Scripture commands us to redeem the time. Now I know why God tells us to enjoy our youth. Every day that passes is a day that I can never get back. So, I want to use the time the Lord has given me for His glory. I want to be as useful as I can for the short time that I am here on this earth. I want to be useful and purposeful with every moment so that when my deeds are tested through fire, when I stand before the Lord, what comes out is gold and silver and precious stones...not wood hay and stubble.

It's Hard Being a Girl

I realize the whole concept of submission in marriage doesn't start with marriage. It's a quality I need to cultivate now. But it's not as easy as it sounds. God has given me certain character qualities and I would never use them to excuse my sin, but it does make it a little more difficult. I am opinionated, stubborn, loud, out-spoken, bold--none of those qualities lend themselves to submission. It just means I have to work harder than some other girls. But in the end, God is humbling me and teaching me what it means to prefer others and what it will someday mean for me to willingly put myself under the authority of a husband who will lead as I follow. There is no greater act of trust than for a woman to say--I will choose to submit to you and the decisions you make.

Love and Marriage

My "cousin," Rachel Ham is now Rachel Talbott. She married Byron a week and a half ago. It's surreal. I remember holding her when she was a baby! And now I am throwing her bridal showers and standing up for her in her wedding. Time goes by so fast, and God's plan for every person is so different. I never would have imagined that my 20-year-old neighbor, friend, and "cousin" would get married so soon. She looked beautiful. The wedding was quick and to the point, and everyone had a great time at the reception. It looked like a wedding out of a magazine, honest. The photographer, and my friend, Lukas posted a few of his favorite pictures on his blog.

http://lukasvandyke.blogspot.com/2007/06/byron-and-rachel.html

Check it out!

Oh, Canada

My friend BK recently graduated from The Master's Seminary. Did I mention, BK is from Canada? Since his visa expired, BK is no longer allowed to work in America. But he's not allowed to leave either. So all he can do now is sit and wait for his visa to go through. That means one thing--he's stuck in America for the summer. So what does one do when trapped in a foreign country? Read BK's blog to find out!

http://bksummer2007.wordpress.com/

THOUGHTS

As I evaluated my recent posts, I noticed that I've been pretty serious lately. So I had great aspirations to post something really clever and funny and witty--something to make you all laugh, something that would get lots of comments. Notice, it's been 8 days and I still haven't come up with anything that fits that description. So, rather than make you laugh, out come some thoughts I've had today as a result of my reading in the MacArthur Daily Bible.

Life isn't easy. And while I shouldn't stress, unpleasant situations in life happen and my sinful response is to worry. In the book of Acts, Peter and John were in prison for sharing the gospel and by a turn of miraculous events, they escaped. Knowing me, I would worry and fret. But the church at that time rejoiced in God's power, they recognized that even the people involved in Christ's death were gathered to do "whatever Your hand and Your purpose determined before to be done." And the church used Peter and John's situation as a chance to rejoice in God's sovereignty.

That's a lesson for me. God is sovereign. God's plan can not be thwarted by any man. I can take confidence and rejoice in that fact, for He is "God who made the heavens and the earth and the sea and all that is in them." I have nothing to fear, but Him who ought to be feared.

ALONE

Mark 6:46
"And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray."

Even Jesus had to get alone and go away to pray to His Heavenly Father. If this was a necessity for the Son of God, the Creator of the Universe, the Most High God, how much more is it essential for me? I crave that kind of intimacy with my Lord. I feel that need, to go away and be alone with God. To talk to Him and sit quietly and listen, and to let him speak back to me through His Word. No, God won't speak to me in a audible voice and tell me what to do, but when I acknowledge Him in all my ways and seek His will, not my own, I believe He will make clear the muddy areas in my life. He will gaurd my heart and mind with a peace that only He can give--a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Thought For The Day

"Is the Lord Jesus Christ your most precious treasure in this world? If so, you can count yourself among normal Christians. Is the moral beauty which is found only in Jesus Christ constantly drawing you to praise and worship? If so, you are indeed among those whom God's Word identifies as normal, believing, practicing Christians. But I can almost anticipate an objection. If someone is that delighted and that occupied with the person of Jesus Christ, is he or she not an extremist rather than a normal Christian? Have professing Christians really come to that time in their humanistic and secularistic leanings that they can sincerely deny that loving Jesus Christ with all their heart and soul and strength is normal Christianity? We must not be reading and studying the same Bible! How can anyone profess to be a follower and a disciple of Jesus Christ and not be overwhelmed by His attributes? These divine attributes attest that He is indeed Lord of all, completely worthy of our worship and praise."

-Whatever Happened to Worship? by A.W. Tozer

Impartial Love

You know when God triggers something in your mind--something you read, or heard in a sermon--and you can't stop thinking about it. Well, that sums up some of my thoughts this past week.

Last weekend at my Bible study retreat in Mammoth, Bruce Blakey spoke about the spiritual discipline of serving one another. He talked about the passage where Jesus washes the disciples' feet. And he touched on the fact that Jesus treated Judas so well, no one believed Judas was the betrayer, even when Jesus revealed it. Jesus loved Judas so much and exercised such compassion toward Judas--up until the very last moment, He gave Judas a chance to repent and to turn from his evil ways. Jesus even dipped bread and gave it to Judas, indicating that he was a special guest of honor.

What wondrous love is this?

I pray that I can be the same way to those who have mistreated me. I pray I can demonstrate the same kind of love towards those "hard to love people." And I pray my love will be so extreme that I can love even my enemies the way that Jesus loved Judas--the way that Jesus loves me!

A Weekend I Won't Forget

I spent 3 days in Mammoth with my Bible study.

I went hiking around Convict Lake.

I rode a mechanical bull.

I line-danced in the middle of town.

I ate some amazing apple pie.

I woke up at 5:00AM to go to Rainbow Falls.

I climbed over a fence to put my hand in the water at the hot springs.

I played "Mafia."

I learned an amazing new worship song.

I went running by myself and prayed.

I saw Manzanar.

I asked people hard questions.

I had true fellowship.

I bought a Coach wallet.

I heard 3 amazing messages from God's Word.

I relaxed in the jacuzzi.

I cried.

The End of an Era

Robert William "Bob" Barker (born December 12, 1923) is a seventeen-time Emmy Award-winning American television game show host. He is best known for hosting CBS's The Price Is Right since September 4, 1972, making it the longest-running daytime game show in television history. On October 31, 2006 he announced that he would retire from hosting The Price Is Right in June 2007 after holding the job for nearly 35 years and having been in television for 50 years. His last episode of The Price Is Right is set to air on June 15, 2007.

We'll miss you, Bob!

7 Things

Here are seven true facts about my life:
(I was "tagged" which means I am required to participate in this crazy post).

7. At my kindergarten graduation I was asked, "what do you I want to be when you grow up?" I answered, "I want to be a cheerleader or a veterinarian." (Same thing, right?)

6. I ate an entire plastic bucket full of those hard candy hearts. I accomplished this feat in three months (that was three years ago).

5. I can't snap or whistle or fold my tongue.

4. When I was little I would sneak away from my house and walk down the street to the railroad tracks (not even 1/2 a mile from my house). Behind the tracks is a wealthy neighborhood and several of the people in those homes owned horses. I would take carrots and feed the horses through the fence.

3. In seventh grade I worked in the library. I was certain I wanted to be a librarian when I was older. I cried almost every day of seventh grade but my crying had nothing to do with working in the library.

2. I've practiced a few songs that I would sing if I auditioned for American Idol.

1. I've dropped my cell phone in the toilet before.

Comfort

This was so good, I just had to share it! It encouraged me so much today.

I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS.
Matthew 28:20

It is good that there is One who is always the same and who is always with us. It is good that there is one stable rock amidst the billows of the sea of life. Let us not set our soul's affections upon rusting, moth-eaten, decaying treasures but set our hearts upon Him who remains faithful forever. Let us not build our house upon the moving quicksands of a deceitful world but base our hopes upon this rock that, amid descending rain and roaring floods, shall stand immovably secure. My soul, I charge you, lay up your treasure in the only secure cabinet; store your jewels where you can never lose them. Put your all in Christ; set all your affections on His person, all your hope in His merit, all your trust in His efficacious blood, all your joy in His presence, and then you may laugh at loss and defy destruction. Remember that all the flowers in the world's garden fade by turns, and the day comes when nothing will be left but the black, cold earth and death will soon put out your candle. How sweet to have the sunlight when the candle is gone! The dark flood must soon roll between you and all you have; so join your heart to Him who will never leave you; trust Him who will go with you through the surging current of death's stream and who will bring you safely to the celestial shore and have you sit with Him in heavenly places forever. In the sorrows of affliction, tell your secrets to the Friend who sticks closer than a brother. Trust all your concerns to Him who can never be taken from you, who will never leave you, and who will never let you leave Him, even "Jesus Christ [who] is the same yesterday and today and forever."1 "I am with you always" is enough for my soul to live upon no matter who forsakes me.

Back to Reality

I am back from vacation. Here are a few pictures I thought you might enjoy.

The view from our place was gorgeous!

We went to a "butterfly farm" where they raise butterflies for people to see and enjoy different species.

Me and mom enjoying the butterflies.

My sister and I went parasailing...that's us, way up there!

The whole family...waiting in the airport to head back home.

VACATION

Well, my friends. Tonight I leave on a week's vacation. I will be going to St. Maarten with my dad and mom and my sister and her husband Caleb. I am excited to experience God's creation in such an incredible place. It should be relaxing and enjoyable. But most of all, I am excited for the time I will have to sleep in, read God's Word, dig into some good books, and focus on some Scripture memory. I will be back next Friday (4/4/07) and I'll tell you more about it and hopefully post some good pictures. Have a blessed week! Keep blogging.

Give Crustaceans a Chance

4/28/07 World Magazine:
Freedom didn't come cheaply for approximately 300 lobsters held for distribution in tanks at the New Meadows Lobster Pound in Maine. A group of young environmentalists arrived at New Meadows and demanded the company give the lobsters a chance at freedom. In this case, cash talked: After paying nearly $3,400 in cash, the environmentalists gathered up their 300 lobsters and told New Meadows owner Pete McAleney they planned to release them back into the ocean. "We told them they're going to get caught again and they said, 'That's OK. We just want them to have a chance before they get caught again,'" McAleney said. "I don't know if they go around and free chickens and cows or what."

You Don't Want to Miss This

Here's something you don't see everyday!
And there's more where that came from. It's well worth the 30 seconds--trust me!

http://scottandemilyoneal.blogspot.com/2007/03/facing-giants.html

Astounding

Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. Check out this story about an American solider in Iraq that was shot, but didn't even know it--the bullet went through his IPod and then didn't penetrate his bullet-proof vest. He wasn't harmed at all. God's sovereignty on display once again! (I thought this was post-worthy!)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tiki/445621299/in/pool-appleusers/

TALENT

I am amazed, no, flabbergasted at the talent God gives some people. Not just..."o, he's pretty good," but "oh-my-word, blow-you-away, knock-your-socks-off-kind-of-talent." I'm talking about some of the most talented people in the world! And I have a couple of those people right at my church. Jubilant Sykes and Christopher Parkening. Jubilant is an acclaimed tenor singer and Christopher is a world-renown classical guitarist. I've heard them both perform so much, I often forget how rare their talent is. But I am reminded that I can't take such wonderful talent, such wonderful gifts, such wonderful men, for granted. I am obligated and happy to recognize their talent as a blessing from the Lord and to worship Him for His character, His majesty, and His creativity, which is displayed through these two men.

From the Sublime to the Serious

I know my last post was totally goofy--it was meant to make you laugh--but this post is going to be a serious one. So I just wanted to warn you about the sudden change of pace. Anyone who knows me knows that I am super goofy...but I am also super serious. Lately it's been time to be serious in my life. So many of my good friends and family have been enduring some HUGE trials...life-shaking-kind-of-trials...not I'm having-a-bad-day-kind-of-trials. And I have been lifting them up in prayer. It's a little overwhelming sometimes to share in such huge burdens, but I am blessed the Lord has allowed me to be part of the entire trial process in the lives of many of my friends.

Here are some of the major prayer requests that have been on my heart:

1. My friends Scott Frankfurt and Logan Carr-
Jody Frankfurt passed away and her husband Scott and her best friend Logan are still enduring the pain and grieving. They need prayer, even though months have passed.

2. My friend Rebecca-
Rebecca's father passed away. Rebecca is my age and was very close with her dad. I know this is a difficult and painful ordeal to endure.

3. My friends Carly and Chad-
Carly and Chad lost their baby girl "Olivia Grace." Carly was almost 7 months along in her pregnancy, when they heard the news. I will continue praying for their healing, peace of mind and wisdom as they make decisions for their future.

4. My friend Marni-
Marni just recently found out her mom has cancer.

5. My aunt Laurene-
I recently found out that my mom's sister has cancer in her liver. (Her children, my cousins, are only 12, and 15). My aunt is saved.

6. My friend Greg-
Just a few days ago, my friend Greg (30 yrs. old) was admitted into the hospital. He was having bad headaches and after a couple of MRIs, CAT scans, and a spinal tap found out that he has a 3 tumors in his brain. We are still waiting for a fuller diagnosis and a course of treatment from the doctors.

If you'd like to join me in praying for these dear brothers and sister, please do!

What's Wrong With America?

I'll tell you what's wrong:

The Prince of Bel Air

It's always a worthwhile experience when I get to visit other churches. It's a great reminder to me just how vast and diverse the body of Christ really is. Last night, two dear friends and I set out on an adventure that began with an email...

You see, I read Alistair Begg's devotional everyday and occasionally listen to his sermons...so when I got an email that Alistair would be in California, at Bel Air Pres nonetheless, I was there!

The worship was great...you could sense the genuine love these dear brothers and sisters have for the Lord. Although many of the traditions of the church are quite different than I am accustomed to (pastors in jeans, women serving communion, candles) there is still much I can learn from this body of believers. I was reminded that it's okay to express your love for the Lord in a physical way. Drums can be conducive to worship. It's okay not to wear a tie--God doesn't mind! God wants my heart and mind--that is even more important to God than keeping my often legalistic standards.

I thank God for Alistair's message--that God has fulfilled in whole the OT and we are no longer in bondage to the law. Christ has completed it and now sits at the right hand of God enabling me to be free! I thank God for allowing me to learn from these fellow believers and for increasing my appreciation for the wonderful church body God has allowed me to be part of!

Ten Things I Learned from Watching a Clippers Game

10. Not everyone likes potato chips.

9. Drive aggressively.

8. It's fun to smuggle food.

7. If you're nice, you just might get what you ask for.

6. Skittles are easy to lose.

5. If you're patient, good things happen.

4. EBay is a wonderful thing.

3. You shouldn't wear bare midriff shirts if you're chubby.

2. Some people make friends easily.

1. Tim Duncan is a nice guy.

Feelin' Groovy!

59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)

Simon and Garfunkel

Slow down, you move too fast.

You got to make the morning last.

Just kicking down the cobble stones.

Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.

Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...feelin' groovy.

Hello lamp-post, whatcha knowin'?

I've come to watch your flowers growin'.

Ain'tcha got no rhymes for me?

Doot-in' doo-doo, feelin' groovy.

I've got no deeds to do, no promises to keep.

I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.

Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.

Life, I love you, all is groovy.

Routine

It's Wednesday! Yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Thursday ( I know...call me a genius). Wednesday night...that means I will go to high school Bible study and do the same exact thing that I've done every Wednesday for almost the past five years. Don't get me wrong, there is no where else I'd rather be on a Wednesday night...I LOVE IT! But I've just been thinking about how easy it is to get caught up in the "routine" of life. Every day seems the same and every week seems to repeat the last--that's life, I know. And I don't expect different. I just want to make sure that no matter how routine the activities of my life get, that my spiritual life doesn't follow suit. I don't want to grow mundane. I don't want to grow cold or complacent. I want to be passionate. I want to be bold. I want to be vibrant in my walk with the Lord. When others look at my life, I want to ooze Christ, from every action, every thought, and every word I speak.

V-Day

You know, if we were better at expressing our appreciation for the people God has put into our lives (friends, family, etc.) then we wouldn't even need a holiday like Valentine's Day. I think that's what I will take away most from today. We need to thank the Lord every day for putting friends in our life that challenge us, confront us, encourage us...and we shouldn't need a special day to remind us to do that. And it's even more important to tell the people we care about how thankful we are for them--not just...I am thankful for you...but specifically what about them encourages you or what about them do you appreciate? Well, I am thankful for all of you, my friends, who care enough about my life that you take time out to read my blog. That makes me feel special!

God's Sovereignty....The Getty...The Hospital

Proverbs 16:9
"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

What a weekend! I just have to say, God amazes me! On Friday night, the topic of the message at my Bible study was God's providence. Little did I know that God was going to make that attribute of His come to life in a way I've never experienced. I had plans for Saturday...my day was scheduled out...spend time with my mom in the morning, meet Ayemi for lunch in the afternoon, and go to a HS event in the evening. But God had other plans! While I was shopping with my mom, I got a phone call that a group of people were going to the hospital to spend time with Rebecca (my dear friend who's dad is dying). So Ayemi and I decided to meet up later and go to the hospital together. I would just go to the high school event a little late. Still, God had other plans! Ayemi and I found out Rebecca couldn't be at the hospital until 7pm. So, Ayemi and I spent the rest of the afternoon together. We went to the Getty Museum--and once again God's providence was crystal clear. There was an exhibit of "icons" from St. Catherine, a church right at the bottom of St. Sinai (amazing). But incredibly sad at the same time-- they worship icons of saints that have no power, no life when the living and true God commanded them right from that Mt. to have NO others God's, and to make NO graven images. Ayemi ran into her friend Patina...a girl that shared the gospel with her! Talk about God's providence. After that we went to the hospital and spent a wonderful time praying, crying, singing, and reading Scripture with Rebecca! I am so thankful for my salvation. I am so thankful that I serve the true and living God who has power to heal. He has power over sickness and disease, authority above all the saints. And only He can save souls.

Soda Cans

Tuesday is "trash" day. And this morning when I was jogging, I saw a sad sight. A woman was walking down the residential streets near my home digging through the trash cans--apparently collecting soda cans and other recyclables for a meager existence. Maybe she was homeless I am not sure...but I said hello to her. And as I continued my jog, my mind wandered to the story of Ruth. What does the book of Ruth have to do with soda cans, you may ask. Well, when Ruth went into Boaz's field to collect scraps, or to "glean barley in the fields after the reapers," that is the modern day equivalent of digging in the trash for soda cans! Ruth was poor and had nothing and if it had not been for Boaz's generosity, neither Ruth, nor Naomi would have had food to eat. And to think, God used that one poor, humble woman to bear a son, Obed. "He is the father of Jesse, the father of David."

A Letter From Prison

World Magazine: February 2007

Editor's note: Andrée Seu corresponds with Texas prisoner Robert Fahrbach. She asked him to write to her son Jae, a prisoner in Pennsylvania. Here is what he wrote, without any changes.

Hello Jae,
You might be wondering who I am. Well let's end the wondering ok, my name is Robert but people call me Bubba. I am 32 years old and been locked up since 1998 Aug 7. My Dad and Mom and son and grandparents all past away since I been locked up, the rest of my family don't want nothing to do with me cause of what I did in my past, and I'll share that with you, one day if you like.

So to start I do know what the dark alone feeling is like, I know what being screamed at buy the boss is like and hear in Texas they scream. Jae my past was so dark and heavy they locked me up 15 aggravated years, don't sound like much but with a brand new baby and 24 years old and loosing every thing its a life sentence. Hear they don't pay for any labor, you work for free, and if not your locked up even tighter.

BUT! Theirs a but in all this sad story. Jae its hard in prison wondering if their going to call your name at mail call, phone calls wich we get every 90 days if wher good during those 90 days, money for food and toothpas able to go to the store during Christmass, so you can have a somewhat good time “a spread.” But Jae I found something better then all of that I found someone who loves me their on every call, listens to my sad story’s of how bad it is in hear. This man brought me so much joy and peace, I have now a bigger family. He gave me a nother chance that we all need.

Jae let me tell you a little something ok if don’t mind ok Jae I am at sike prison crazy house whare you take medican for voices seeing things that others cant. Ware people cut on them selves and I was one of them. I been like that for years I came to prison and started medican “one thousand two hundred milligrams” a day I was trying to get away from the angrey filling I had towards people and even my self.

But now I am off all of it because some one loved me enough to give me his life so I can be free in my mind whare all the battle is, boy-o-boy and what a battle it was. So he said these words to me ”:Peace I leave you, my peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world gives, so do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid,:” You can hear him say it to you your self in John 14:27.

Jae I can cry to you in many tears to try to get you to understand. I never found true happiness no not in my different drugs, drinks, sex, nothing could stay long enough. I always kept trying intell I gave Christ my heart. Did it all happen in one day no no no, it took reading and reading and plenty of times on my knees. We always think we should have the last word, “no” every man will be judge acourding to what he has done with the Son of God in their life.

I would love Jae to explain to you a lot more, not to judge you but to show you great wonders of love and peace, so much joy,. Gods love is just not in word but in plenty of experiences. You already been told plenty of times your not good for nothing never been nothing. You have not messed up your life to the point ware God cant fix it. Your just ware he needs you to open you eyes. Trust me you wont ever come close to what ive done and been through, if you don’t believe me write ok. Me and you nowone else ok, I’ll be praying alright. Love in Christ. Bubba

P.S. Jae this Christ is not a religion. Religion stinks in God’s nose, he wants us as a child to come home.

Men and Women

A funny e-mail my friend sent to me:

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Weldon

Yesterday I went to Weldon. Where is Weldon? Good question. Head north...Weldon is in Kernville about 90 miles from Bakersfield. It's farmland, ranchers, cowboys, hickville. My friend Brian preached at the Weldon Baptist Church. Members...about 30. If you learn your theology from the hymns they sing, then you'd believe that "if you want a blessing, just call Jesus on the phone," and you'd believe "I've got sunshine in my soul." When you walk into Weldon Baptist Church, you are greeted by a picture of Jesus in a white robe with his beautiful wavy hair and blue eyes.

But you know what? The members of Weldon Baptist are real! They have real struggles. They want to know how to handle their rowdy sons, they want to do the right thing when asked to house a troubled teen. They want to please God. And even if they wear jeans to church and refuse to go outside without their cowboy hat on, I'll be singing beside them in heaven. We may not being singing, "I've got sunshine in my soul" we will be singing, "holy, holy, holy" but I am thankful for their hospitality, generosity, transparency, and genuine faith! The church has been through a lot but praise the Lord for the faithful deacons and members of the church that want a pastor who will open the Word and teach the Truth!

Old Friends

If you're blessed in the same way as me, then you know there are some friends you can go without talking to for months at a time, and then when you finally get a chance to catch up, it's like no time has passed at all--you pick right back up where you left off. I have a friend like that and I am so thankful for her. I hope you have a friend like that too! Praise the Lord. The body of Christ is a magnificent thing and I am in awe at the way it functions...it truly is supernatural.

Old Paths (WINTER CAMP 07)

Dr. Will Varner is an amazing man because the Lord has chosen to use him in mighty ways. He was our speaker at high school winter camp this past weekend. He taught through 2 Peter--reminding us of "old paths," the things we already know, but need to be reminded of. And he stirred our hearts and minds to be lovers of the Word and diligent students of it. But I must say, one of the most impactful parts of the weekend for me was when Dr. Varner shared his testimony and he talked about the death of his 26 year-old-daughter just a year and a half ago. Job says, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. That was Dr. Varner's comfort in the time of his deepest pain. And that was (is) the same verse (and song) that comforts me when I think of the return of my mom's cancer and the imminent possibility that it can eventually spread through her body and take her life. The Lord is good and faithful and his purpose and plan can not be thwarted. I long to have the same heart as Dr. Varner (and Job) that is submissive to the will of God in my life no matter how painful. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.

2 Peter 3:18 "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."

10 Things I Learned Over the Holiday Break

10. Looking at lame Christmas lights can be fun if you are with the right people.
9. You can share the love of Christ by scraping dirty dishes.
8. Pumpkin pie crust burns easily.
7. I am more complicated than I thought.
6. God has a sense of humor.
5. My cousin has small feet.
4. It's hard to find jeans that fit.
3. Decision-making is not always easy.
2. My cat thinks she's a princess.
1. Laugh instead, when you feel like arguing.