Go To A Monster Truck Rally

Can I just say this was way more fun than I ever expected! It was so awesome--the atmosphere was tingling with excitement. I know how people get hooked on this. My adrenaline was going big time as I felt the vibrations and throbbing of the cars zooming by. I can't imagine the thrill that the drivers get. My hearing was gone and my head ached for about an hour afterwards, but it was well worth it. It was a great way to spend my cousin's first day in CA.

BATTLE

I'm reading Perelandra by C.S. Lewis. The bulk of the book is basically a spiritual battle for the soul of mankind. Like when Satan tries to tempt the woman in the garden to disobey God. So Weston tries to tempt the woman to disobey Maleldil while Rasom is the voice of reason trying to convince the woman that her highest good is obedience to Maleldil.

Right now in some ways I feel like I have Ransom and Weston on both sides of me vying for my attention. And I need to be reminded what is my highest good. My highest good is to obey my Creator. No matter what twisted logic the world tries to throw at me, I know that the outcome for my good is when I obey, even if I don't understand the purpose of the command. I must obey out of love for my Creator.

"I think He made one law of that kind in order that there might be obedience. In all these other matters what you call obeying Him is but doing what seems good in your own eyes also. Is love content with that? You do them, indeed because they are His will. Where can you taste the joy of obeying unless He bids you do something for which His bidding is the only reason?" -Ransom

Eat Something Exotic/Wear a Hat to Church on Easter

Exotic
I planned my friend Jen's bachelorette party. It was over a month ago. Jen is now happily married. (She's been married 3 weeks now). But I did fulfill one of my birthday resolutions at the place we went for her party. It was a great little tea house in Pasadena called The Scarlet Tea Room. For an appetizer we ordered something very exotic--tempura squash blossoms stuffed with manchego, ricotta, almonds, and romesco. I can't even tell you what that is, but the waitress said it tastes out of this world, like it's from a different planet. So we took her word for it. And it was YUMMY.

Easter
So I knew I'd get teased if I wore a hat to church on Easter. And I was right. I got comment after comment about my "Easter bonnet" which was nothing close to a bonnet. But I don't care. You see, when I was little, my mom used to have me wear hats to church all the time, especially on Easter. So it was fun to do it again...it's been a LONG time and it felt like a little tribute to my mom.

A Golden Weekend And a Lesson on a Plane

Birthday Resolution: Visit my friend Holly

Holly lives in Denver so it was an adventure to go visit her. I met Holly's fiancé, Marty, which was great. Marty is a real, funny, down to earth, nice guy. I'm excited to see God working in his life and for him to marry my friend!
It was a quick weekend. Holly and I did some wedding stuff. We went shopping, walked in the park, and visited a little town called Golden. Golden is the famous home of the Coors beer factory, but since I don't drink we passed on the Coors tour and free beer and opted for Starbucks, a nice walk along the main street, and some fun photo ops. Holly asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, so I'll be going back to Denver in June!

A situation on the plane ride home got me thinking. I sat on the aisle seat next to a guy about my age and in the window seat was a pretty gal about my age too. The two of them were talking—I wouldn't say flirting—but talking. The girl was definitely a sweet, friendly girl. When we landed and the lights came on, I could see things more clearly. The girl in the window seat had a huge rock on her ring finger on her left hand! Yes, she was either engaged or married. And I wondered, would that girl's fiancé or husband be happy if he was an observer of his woman's conduct on her plane trip? No she didn't technically do anything wrong—she could argue that she wasn't flirting.

But I began to think—aisle lady's conduct was on the edge, toying with the line of too friendly—too friendly for the status of engaged or married. And not to impose something spiritual on a simple story, but I thought to myself, I have a status as well. I am engaged, betrothed, to the King of the universe. Does my conduct demonstrate that status? Or am I flirting with the line of being too familiar, too friendly, with the world? Is God cringing at my conversation with the guy next to me on my proverbial "plane?"

I want to walk in a manner worthy of which I am called. I want to cultivate an attitude of thanksgiving. I'm ashamed of myself for being discontent and for grumbling and complaining in my heart at where God has me. I want to DELIGHT in what the Lord has placed before me, not just endure it.

Psalm 37:23-24
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholds him with His hand."

PBR

Another birthday resolution--watch a bull ride.

I did a google search to find out when the next professional bull ride (PBR) would be close enough for me to actually go. And I found a bull ride in Fresno. So I went ahead and bought two tickets. Yes, Fresno is 3 hours away, but I thought it would be a fun road trip and part of the whole adventure. Jen, my great friend who I've known since high school, agreed to go with me. I think I was much more excited than her, but she still enjoyed herself!

I can't even explain how much fun this was. We chatted the entire car ride there, which actually seemed to go pretty fast. And then we stuffed our faces at The Old Spaghetti Factory before heading to the gigantic Save Mart Center arena.

The bull ride was INTENSE. Every ride carried with it the looming possibility of someone getting trampled or horned by an angry bull. There were several close calls and some scary moments, but thankfully everyone walked away. I loved the atmosphere! I totally felt in my element--country music, polite, masculine gentleman holding doors open for me, calling me ma'am, and tipping their hats. It was great! I was shocked that the MC even began the event with a prayer...and not just a generic prayer but, "Jesus, please forgive our sins." Then he asked for protection and blessing over the animals and the athletes and that the men would stay safe. WOW. It was pretty cool if I do say so myself!

Anyone want to go to the PBR finals in Vegas, let me know...I'm totally up for it! :)

Laugh Til I Cry

There is one birthday resolution that I wasn't sure I would accomplish. Laugh til I cry. I've never laughed that hard before, at least not that I can remember, so I wasn't sure if this year would be the year. And it's not a resolution that I can cause to happen by any planning or will of my own. It just had to happen, naturally.

I owe it all to my coworker, Bridget. She has the most contagious laugh of anyone I've ever met. It's a cross between a cackle and someone laughing so hard they are gasping for air. Just seeing Bridget laugh, makes me laugh.

The other day was a very strange day at work. It seemed that everyone was punchy. Everyone was joking around and just having a fun day. I spent part of the day helping Bridget with a project and we were both getting a little punch happy. I made a joke that I didn't really intend to be a joke, but it came out the wrong way and Bridget started laughing hysterically. That got me going. And neither of us could stop. The harder Bridget laughed the harder it made me laugh. And then it happened...tears started to roll down my cheeks!

Laugh til I cry. CHECK.

Finish Reading Narnia and Harry Potter

I realized that I wasn't reading enough so one of my birthday resolutions was to finish reading the Harry Potter and the Narnia series. (Two different resolutions, but I'm grouping them together since they are similar.)

First I finished the 7 Harry Potter books. While some were better than others and more enjoyable to read, Harry's story was brilliantly told. As much as many Christians have against the series, I enjoyed the magical world of Hogwarts and I'm glad I read the books. I wouldn't recommend that a younger child read them, but a discerning young person or teenager would do well with some discussion and guidance. I love how J.K. Rowling tells back story and recaps information without being boring or redundant. She's brilliant at it and I want to implement that into my own writing.

Then I finished up the last 3 of the 7 books in the Narnia series. I had read the first 4 with my mom, but we never got around to finishing them. All of the books were amazing, of course. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader was my least favorite, and my favorite was was The Silver Chair. I could barely breathe at the end of The Last Battle as C.S. Lewis used his imagination and biblical knowledge to describe what heaven will be like. I teared up reading it. Lewis had an insight into heaven like no one I've ever met. Even though the Narnia books are fiction/fantasy, I really think God gave Lewis a special gift--these books--that have encouraged and given insight to believers for years.

Right now I'm reading "The Chosen" (on recommendation by a coworker) and after that I'll start the Lord of the Rings series...no I haven't read that yet either.

Start a Band

"Just get you a guitar and learn how to play, cut up some jeans, come up with a name. When you’re living in a world that you don't understand, find a few good buddies, start a band, start a band. Start a band." -Brad Paisley

A dear friend and I are singing in a wedding in less than 2 weeks. So, the other night we got together to practice. We were enjoying ourselves, having a wonderful time. After a great rehearsal our singing morphed into an improv jam session. The guitarist was picking away with some cool sounding tunes and we simply opened up a Bible to the book of Psalm and started singing Scripture to the tune. IT WAS SO FUN!

In fact, we enjoyed ourselves so much, we decided to start a band. We are going to get our act together and start playing at coffee shops.

If you have any suggestions for a band name, feel free to share!

A Dead Rat

A few days ago while on my morning jog, I saw a huge rat in the middle of the street. It was lying on it's side twitching, jumping, convulsing--I wondered if it had been hit by a car. I know it's a RAT but my heart felt compassion towards this little creature and I wished there was something I could do to put it out of it's misery. I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing, just simply finished my run. But not without this little experience leaving an impression on me.

Watching that creature die reminded me how imminent death is! And strangely, watching it writhe in pain reminded me of my mom's suffering. And I wondered--couldn't everyone just die peacefully, painlessly in their sleep? Why the suffering? And to be honest, I'm not sure I have a great answer. But I do know one thing, the pain, suffering, and fallenness of this world make me long for heaven with more zeal, passion, and urgency than I ever have before. Maybe that's the point.

If God knows when a bird or a sparrow falls, He certainly knows when a rat does too. Nothing is beyond His knowledge and control, and nothing is out of His loving hands. I needn't fear the future. One day I will be face-to-face with death like that rat...it will be my moment. God knows that exact moment and has ordained it. His ways are higher than mine and beyond my understanding. Proverbs says for a lesson in life to look to the ant. I looked to a rat. It's just like God to use a rat to speak to me!

"A god who does not rule all things absolutely is no God at all--but only a weak, frustrated, defeated idol, carved from one of the trees in the dark forest of man’s depraved imagination!" -Don Fortner

I know that the LORD is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods. The LORD does whatever pleases Him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths! -Psalm 135:5-6

All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have You done?" -Daniel 4:35

Pay For A Stranger's Starbucks

The other day I ordered from a drive-through Starbucks. The perfect opportunity to anonymously pay for the person behind me! So I ceased the opportunity to accomplish another birthday resolution.

At the window I asked the cashier, "Can I please pay for the car behind me?" She said, "Sure, do you know them?" And I answered her honestly and said, "No, I don't know them." She looked kind of surprised and said, "What should I tell them?" And I said, "You can tell them that I serve a generous God and so I wanted to do something generous for someone."

The lady smiled and said, "Maybe they will pay it forward." I said, "Maybe." And I smiled back, paid for the strangers grande mocha caramel frappaccino, and drove away.

A Year Later

Yesterday was exactly one year since my mom passed away, went to heaven, died...however you want to say it. The point is, she's gone.

I'll never see her smile again, or the twinkle in her bright blue eyes. I'll never again sit at the dinner table with her or ask her to do me a favor. I'll never go to another play with her or bake another batch of apricot cookies with her. We'll never watch another episode of Dancing With the Stars together or critique the American Idol contestants together. I'll never again call her to chat on the way home from work, ask her for advice, or sing a song with her. No one will ever be as honest with me when I ask for criticism, no one will be as hard on me when I need to be pushed, and no one will love me like my mom did.

But I do know this...

My mom is happier than she has ever been. My mom is at total peace and total rest. My mom is with her Savior. My mom is whole and complete. She is without sin. My mom would not come back if she could. And I wouldn't want her to.

I know this...
One day I will see my mom again and I will sing with her again. But this time no sin and no flesh will get in the way of singing praises to God. And I know that God is good and everything He does is good, and is for my good. Those aren't just words...it's TRUTH.

I told my friend the other day, cancer did not take my mom's life. God, in His infinite love, wisdom, and mercy, called my mom home on February 10, 2009. God is the giver and sustainer of life. He gives and He takes away. And I will bless His name.

My very talented friend wrote a poem many years ago after her father died and she shared it with me yesterday. Here's a short piece of it that really resonated with me and encouraged my heart:

"Having given, the Father,
Having been given, the Son,
Being now given, the Spirit,
Triune know, oh they know, and
Are one in comfort,
And as our tears flow,
So theirs;
They know.
They know.
They more than know.
The Lord does not just provide;
He is our provision; and there is nothing lacking.
Yes, tears still come, bewilderment and sorrow recur;
He doesn’t just say, stiffen that upper lip;
He says “Come to Me. . . and I will give you rest.”
And He does, oh yes, He does."

Contact My Long Lost Uncle

I haven't spoken to my uncle in probably 20 years! He's been estranged from the family I guess you could say. I decided--now that I'm an adult I should try to reach out to him. I was nervous and felt stupid, but I swallowed my fear and sent my uncle a letter and a CD of my mom's memorial service along with my contact information.

I was surprised to receive a brief by very nice email in response right away! WOW. So I emailed my uncle a picture of our family and more details about our lives these days. I don't know where this communication will lead but I'm thankful the Lord opened this door. And I want to be faithful wherever it may go from here.

"Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and take big risks for the glory of God." -Tim Pickard (my first HS staff Bible study shepherd)

Birthday Resolution- HOLD BABY LUCIANO

Baby Jakob was too comfy in his mama's tummy, so he took a little while longer than expected before he decided to come into the world. But finally after an extra week of hanging out with mom, he was born! I am so excited for Sandi and Allan and I know they are going to be wonderful parents. God is so good!

I was able to go to their house last night and meet baby Jakob and hold him for a while until it was time for him to eat. He's got dark hair like his papa, dark blue eyes (which will most likely change color) and I'm convinced he has his Aunt T's chin. He's a cutie! I'm thakful yet another birthday resolution is done...especially this one because I didn't have to do anything...my friend did all the work! :)

The Newest Member of the Brown Family

BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION: GET A PET OF SOME SORT

I wanted to get a turtle, but it turns out that the aquarium equipment needed for a turtle is $180. Or else I could buy a tortoise for $100. And lizards, snakes, frogs...all need heating lights and their habitat also cost $180. Wasn't planning to spend that much money.

Please welcome the newest member of the Brown family:
RAY

Ray the fish loves to change color, he loves to stare, he loves clean water, and he does not play well with others (other beta fish, that is).

God's Promises

The most amazing I've ever seen...right out my window at work yesterday. Made me meditate on and rejoice in God's faithfulness to His promises. The picture was taken with my cell phone and does not do it justice at all. But enjoy it all the same!

Pet

I'm going to get a pet to fulfill another birthday resolution. I need your help. What should I get?
1. Fish
2. Hampster
3. Rabbit
4. Bird
5. Turtle
6. Gerbil
7. Guinea pig
8. Lizard
9. Snake
10. ROCK

See My Nephew(s) In Person

When I made my birthday resolutions, on my list was "see my nephew in person." Well, in the few months that have passed since then, my nephew turned into nephews (plural) when my sister and brother-in-law received a phone call that there was a little boy in need of a home. The day after Thanksgiving, my sister brought home Nathaniel James Karabo Mitchell. What a gift! In fact in, my sister had been praying for specific details about another child and God kindly answered YES to all of those prayers...like Nathaniel was a special gift all wrapped for her! And how fitting that Nathaniel means gift as does Karabo (chair.ah.bow.) his African name.

So my mission was to see my NEPHEWS in person--mission accomplished!

Two days before Christmas I headed out with my dad for Uganda. Everything went smoothly and after a ten hour flight, and a lovely, but very fast tour of London (I was the tour guide), we spent the night and headed out the next morning for a seven hour flight into Entebe (Uganda).

It was such a joy to see my sister and Caleb and the boys, despite an allergic reaction I had. I was rashy, itchy, and swollen-eyed, but I was one happy girl. We celebrated Christmas late and Nico opened up his gifts. I got to see how my sister lives. We got to meet friends, ministry partners, and "family" members. We jumped up and down and danced as we worshipped at church. We ate "Matokey" with G-Nut sauce which is boiled bananas with peanut sauce, a savory, traditional Ugandan dish. The bananas taste more like potatoes.

We spent New Years with my sister's good friends and had an AMAZING meal--two different kinds of beef/roast with veggies, yummy rolls, popovers, and cookies, potato donuts, and tea for dessert.

We went to the source of the Nile where we saw the spot that Lake Victoria feeds into the Nile (you can see ripples where the salt and fresh water are "mixing"). We also went on a hike in a rain forest where we got bit by fire ants and saw a few monkeys. Our guide told us, "Don't eat that tree, it will kill you." And then two trees over, he said, "Eat this tree, it will help diarrhea." HA! HA! HA! Call me unadventurous, but I didn't eat any trees.

I even got the whole market and craft fair experience. I bought fabric and a very nice Ugandan auntie is making a tradition African shetange for me. I will have it in a few days. There is no hot or even warm water, often the power unpredictably goes out and can be out for days. We boil the milk, boil water for warm baths, the clothes are washed and hung to dry and ironed to kill the eggs the mango flies leave behind. You don't want them to burrow and hatch a worm beneath your skin. We slept under mosquito nets as a defense against malaria. And overall had a grand ol' time.

We had a little family celebration for Nico's 2nd birthday. He turns two years old on Jan. 17th. It was fun to watch him open gifts. It was amazing how much his coordination developed in just two weeks. He had a hard time opening Christmas gifts, but did just great for his birthday. Maybe he learned that we weren't just asking him to rip paper, but there was something in it for him under that paper. :)

Nate and Nico took their first bath together where they played and splashed and had fun as brothers should. I took lots of pictures. I'm back in one piece, my luggage was only a couple days behind me, and I'm recovering well from jet lag, so I can't complain. Thanks everyone for your prayers. God is good. I am so thankful for this experience!

A Couple of Bucks

I've been rethinking my position on giving money to homeless people standing on the street. Over the years I've gone back and forth about whether or not to give to them. You know the argument...they will just spend it on alcohol or drugs. And I've heard stories of people watching a "bum" turn around and drive away in a nice sports car. But the more I think about it, Scripture doesn't say to be kind and compassionate and giving IF you think you agree with where the money will go. That is out of my control. I am just to spread the love of Christ and let the results work themselves out.

So, on the way to work today, I stopped and gave an old man a few dollars. I've seen him standing with his sign on the street for weeks. The smile on his face was worth it. And it's cold outside...if he needs to warm himself up with a beer, I guess that's not my problem. :)

I don't know...what are your thoughts?

Going to the chapel...again

Yes, it's time...again! Yet another dear friend is getting married. I'm so excited for one of my best friends Jen, who recently got engaged to her boyfriend Earl Hammon. She asked me to be in her wedding....this will be #13 for me, and she asked me to be her maid of honor...this will be #4 for that job.

The fun times have already begun...we're going dress shopping tonight!

Can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for my sister in Christ and I know the next few months are going to be special and fun to spend together. YAY! for the way God works!

Serve at a Homeless Shelter for Thanksgiving

Some things on my list of thirty things to do before I'm thirty take longer than others...I've been working on it, trust me. But nothing has been completed enough to talk about, until now.

I did cross another thing off my list last week...serve at a homeless shelter for Thanksgiving. And I did! I went to Church on the Way and served Thanksgiving dinner to people staying at the SanFernando Valley Rescue Mission.

It was an awesome experience! I've served there before...a few years ago, but forgot how much I enjoyed it. And My dad came with me too!

I got to meet so many wonderful people. Their smiles, thank-you's and sweet attitudes were a slap to my pride. It was fun to be their "server" and even more exciting that the gospel was presented so they received spiritual food as well as physical food. I pray the Lord will give me more and more a heart for the lost as I grow to love what He loves and hate what He hates.