Men and Women

A funny e-mail my friend sent to me:

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Weldon

Yesterday I went to Weldon. Where is Weldon? Good question. Head north...Weldon is in Kernville about 90 miles from Bakersfield. It's farmland, ranchers, cowboys, hickville. My friend Brian preached at the Weldon Baptist Church. Members...about 30. If you learn your theology from the hymns they sing, then you'd believe that "if you want a blessing, just call Jesus on the phone," and you'd believe "I've got sunshine in my soul." When you walk into Weldon Baptist Church, you are greeted by a picture of Jesus in a white robe with his beautiful wavy hair and blue eyes.

But you know what? The members of Weldon Baptist are real! They have real struggles. They want to know how to handle their rowdy sons, they want to do the right thing when asked to house a troubled teen. They want to please God. And even if they wear jeans to church and refuse to go outside without their cowboy hat on, I'll be singing beside them in heaven. We may not being singing, "I've got sunshine in my soul" we will be singing, "holy, holy, holy" but I am thankful for their hospitality, generosity, transparency, and genuine faith! The church has been through a lot but praise the Lord for the faithful deacons and members of the church that want a pastor who will open the Word and teach the Truth!

Old Friends

If you're blessed in the same way as me, then you know there are some friends you can go without talking to for months at a time, and then when you finally get a chance to catch up, it's like no time has passed at all--you pick right back up where you left off. I have a friend like that and I am so thankful for her. I hope you have a friend like that too! Praise the Lord. The body of Christ is a magnificent thing and I am in awe at the way it functions...it truly is supernatural.

Old Paths (WINTER CAMP 07)

Dr. Will Varner is an amazing man because the Lord has chosen to use him in mighty ways. He was our speaker at high school winter camp this past weekend. He taught through 2 Peter--reminding us of "old paths," the things we already know, but need to be reminded of. And he stirred our hearts and minds to be lovers of the Word and diligent students of it. But I must say, one of the most impactful parts of the weekend for me was when Dr. Varner shared his testimony and he talked about the death of his 26 year-old-daughter just a year and a half ago. Job says, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. That was Dr. Varner's comfort in the time of his deepest pain. And that was (is) the same verse (and song) that comforts me when I think of the return of my mom's cancer and the imminent possibility that it can eventually spread through her body and take her life. The Lord is good and faithful and his purpose and plan can not be thwarted. I long to have the same heart as Dr. Varner (and Job) that is submissive to the will of God in my life no matter how painful. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.

2 Peter 3:18 "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."

10 Things I Learned Over the Holiday Break

10. Looking at lame Christmas lights can be fun if you are with the right people.
9. You can share the love of Christ by scraping dirty dishes.
8. Pumpkin pie crust burns easily.
7. I am more complicated than I thought.
6. God has a sense of humor.
5. My cousin has small feet.
4. It's hard to find jeans that fit.
3. Decision-making is not always easy.
2. My cat thinks she's a princess.
1. Laugh instead, when you feel like arguing.