Too Good to Be True

Have you ever been in a place in life where everything seems to be going smoothly? You feel like you've got everything together and everything is moving along like normal. I'm not talking about WONDERFUL times where great things are happening...just the times that are peaceful. You aren't in the midst of any big trials and things are manageable. Things are safe and predictable and the possibility of hurt is minimized.

But then something really good happens, and it's hard to believe it's true. It's hard to accept. At least for me it is! I've been so used to going through trials and hard things, that when something good does happen, it can be a little hard to accept the gift, for fear that it will be taken away. It's easier to keep going in the "manageable" and the status quo than to step out and take a risk by stepping into something new and good.

But some gifts are so amazing, you can't help but hope they are true and take the chance. So you step out in faith and push off the "good" and reach for "great". It's worth it! I believe that. Because God is the giver of every good and perfect gift. He is not harsh or unfeeling. He is kind and gives good things.

I'm Alive and Thinking...

I've been encouraged to keep up my blog, despite good distractions that fight for my time. So I'm vowing to do my best. It's my Thanksgiving resolution, I suppose. Why wait until the new year?

Yesterday at work in staff meeting we had a devotion on Psalm 139 which says,
"Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with a complete hatred; I count them my enemies."

I have to be honest, this is a hard thing to swallow. I have always been told the cliche, "Hate the sin and love the sinner." And I know the intent behind that saying. But then, how am I to I take a verse like the verse above? Clearly it tells me to hate those who hate God. It calls them my enemies! There is no getting around it. I have nothing in common with those in darkness. I have no fellowship with sons of the devil. It's harsh, but true! There is no truce. No friendship, flirting, or comfort in the presence of an enemy. Too often I think of people as "good." In theory I know that's not true. I know sin abounds. But in practice I am at peace and comfort that everyone around me is pretty much good. NO. I am surrounded by enemies, and I am commanded to hate. Gulp.

But here's where I am blown away. I am also clearly commanded in Scripture to LOVE my enemies! Yes, I am surrounded. Yes, I hate them and loathe their father, Satan. But I LOVE them with a supernatural love. The same love that God love me with when even though I was His enemy, He died for me.

And this hatred of sin should lead directly to reflection in my own life--which is the very next verse in Psalm 139,
"Search me, O, God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"

And that is my prayer today!

Winding Down

My sister, bro, and the boys are only here for a couple more weeks. The time has gone so fast! I just can't believe how precious my nephews are! I think my heart is going to break when they are gone. Even just a few days without them and the house seemed so empty it was scary! It was too quiet and it felt strange to actually sleep in a BED! But right now I'm going to forget about that moment when they leave, and I'm going to enjoy my next few weeks on the blow-up mattress and more important, my time with my amazing sister and those dear boys!

Adventures in Life

I visited a church with my sister this past weekend. Something the pastor said got me thinking. He said the Christian life is never dull or boring. When we live in total, wild, crazy abandon for Christ, we are living a great adventure. We never know what a day can bring. It can be delightful, fun, relaxing, filled with joy and good things. Or a day can be hard, tiring, stressful, even tragic. But it all comes from the hand of a good God who loves me. And the exciting part is, I never know what comes next, or what to expect when I wake up in the morning and lift my head off of my pillow. I have chosen this journey and I will continue it with a smile as I think about the future. How about you?

It's Been a Long Time

I realized I've been sadly negligent of my blog! But I have a good reason. And since they say a picture is worth a thousand words, I will share a few pictures. I think they will explain for themselves why it's been over a month since I've posted!

Nap

Naps are strange things...

I don't normally take naps, not because I don't like them, but because they never seem to work for me. Either I can't fall asleep, or I get woken up. But not today...today I had a great nap. I fell asleep while watching a movie, I won't name the movie, because I don't want to give it a bad rep. for making me fall asleep. Yes, I blame the movie. "Blame" being a good thing in this case. I suppose I should say I give "credit" to the movie for helping me fall asleep. :)

Well, you know that feeling you get after you take a nap? That hazy, dreamy feeling? I got that today big time! After a 3 hour nap, yes I did say 3 hours, I was woken up by my aunt calling me and telling me their house alarm went off and asking if I could go and check on the house. I'm thankful the house was just fine!

But I just had to share about the best nap I've had in a long time. And a reminder of that hazy, dreamy, feeling that I haven't felt in so long!

Some Things I'll Never Understand...

1. Why some people are attractive and others, not so much. :)

2. Why God chose death as the vessel to bring His children to glory.

3. Guys(need I say more?)

4. Why I was born in a rich, easy nation like America.

5. Why the foods that are the worst for you taste the best.

6. Lemurs.

7. Movies like Willow.

8. The people who work at the Rite Aid by my house.

9. Brussel sprouts.

10. Why I'm such an emotional person.

Ouch!

This morning I was on my way to work, minding my own business. I was stopped at a red light when the big semi-like truck in front of me started to roll backward...right into me. The driver said his gears "jumped." O boy...here comes the insurance fun!

I am so glad I drive a big car like Tonto or I would have been squashed! Seriously. When I bought my car, it was between a Mini Cooper and my FJ. Honestly, if I had been in a Mini Cooper today, that backward-driving truck would have squashed me like an accordion. Yet Tonto just has a slightly munched bumper.

I'm so thankful to God!

Reunions

HS reunions are strange things. You'd think I could probe the creative recesses of my word-nerd brain and come up with something more descriptive, right. Well, I'm sticking with it--they are "strange things."

Don't ask me how, but somehow I got sucked into helping with the planning of my HS reunion. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. And now the reunion is 3 weeks away and I'm totally stressing out. There is so much I've been assigned to do at the last minute. And how can I possibly say no at this point?

I'm happy to help and I know it will be an enlightening and interesting dinner with my old classmates, so I'm glad to go, but at the same time it seems surreal. I can't be this old, because I don't feel this old! Well, recently my hip has been hurting me when I run. Does that mean I'm getting old too? Lord help me!

I'm dreading the reunion, but I'm also intrigued and excited about it at the same time. Any reunion stories to help me cheer me up? Or freak me out?

A Strange Feeling

I woke up this morning and went outside for my normal morning run. And the first thing I noticed was my car...it looked like I had run over something and splattered it all over my tires. When I went in for a closer look, I saw that it was paint! Someone had spray painted with graffiti paint the tires all along the bottom side of my car!

It's a strange feeling. People say you feel violated when you are robbed or mugged. And I kind of feel like that. My car was parked in my driveway! Someone did that to my car in my own driveway!

It's a strange, sick feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. I can't explain it. It's not fear. Just disgust and even sadness. Kind of like a slap in the face to remind me of the sad realities of the world we live in.

Humility

Today at work we had a "retreat" where we could get away and analyze our team, how we work together, our strengths and weaknesses. It was very encouraging. We started the first chapter of Humility by CJ Mahaney. It was very timely. Over the past few weeks the Lord has been revealing to me the pride that is in my heart. It's always been there, but it's been spilling out in puddles lately when different circumstances have shaken it up! God was already working in my heart even before we had this meeting and then up pops this discussion about humility. I don't believe in chance. I know it's God who ordained this in His grace to call me to repentance.

On top of being spiritually nourishing, the day was just plain old FUN! We were in a box at the Home Depot Sports center in LA. And we did a little planning for the Galaxy game event we are promoting. We had lunch at Five Guys...yummy burgers and fries. I realized how unique and fun LA can be. I forget there is so much to see and do because I don't go into LA that often. I've lived here my entire life and haven't seen a lot of the typical LA touristy things! Ha! Go figure.

The Great Adventure

Every stage in life is so different.I'm learning to see each stage as an adventure. A dear friend, and woman I look up to very much, was telling me about how she recently found out that her husband must undergo open heart surgery. Now, if you knew my friend, you would know that she and her family have been through some extremely difficult trials in the past couple of years. And yet, in the midst of this new, huge trial, my friend was joyful, hopeful, calm, and even kept her sense of humor! I was amazed at her deep trust in the Lord which kept her so composed with a gentle, quiet, unfrazzled spirit! When she explained the situation of her husband's illness, she described it as "their newest adventure."

Since that conversation with my friend, I can't get that idea out of my mind. Adventure! Every stage in my life, every place where God has me, every trial I go through, I must see it as an adventure!

Good Friday

For me, Good Friday has always been overshadowed by Easter. But for some reason this year it has gained more significance to me. I think about the people worshipping Christ as he entered the city, shouting hosanna, and laying their coats on the ground for Him. And then, just a few days later they were spitting on Him, mocking Him, and nailing Him to a cross to die.

I'm just as fickle. One moment I am praising Him with my lips and rejoicing over what He has done and the next moment I question His goodness and His plan in my life. I am like the disciples who can't even stay awake to pray for one hour in His time of greatest need. I sleep as He anguishes in prayer in some of the last moments of His life. I rest as He sweats drops of blood.

But He STILL died for me and He rose again and conquered death so that I might live in newness of life and spend eternity with Him forever!

Amazing love, how can it be, that Thou my God should die for me!

All By Myself

So, today at work I'm ALL BY MYSELF! What should I do?
Stop at Jamba Juice on my way to work?
Turn my music up and sing at the top of my lungs?
Listen to This American Life?
Go out to lunch?
Yep. Sounds good to me!

Be Still and Know...

As the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after God!



There's been a recurring theme in my life the past couple of weeks and that is--be still and know that I am God. What exactly does it mean to be still before God. Whatever it is, I know I don't do it enough. Things get so busy and hectic. Even my time in the Word doesn't feel like I am being STILL.

I'm striving to figure this out. For now I think to meditate on Scripture and let it permeate me, to let God speak to me through his Word, and to acknowledge the presence of the Holy Spirit in all things is a good start.

Learning Lavish Forgiveness

I'm starting to see something. The Christian life is all about battling our sin until the day comes when we are without sin! And that means death or until Jesus comes back. For the believer, life is not going to be easy. Because we are in a war! A lot of Christians want life to be neat and clean and tied up in a pretty little package. God never promises that. Even our sin is "neat" and respectable. But the truth is, that's not the case. Even if we think our life is nice and neat, it's not. Our sin is ugly and dirty. We are desperate, and there's no point in pretending we're better than we really are.

That's what makes His forgiveness so lavish! The fact that we are so depraved, and yet He chooses to forgive us, is astounding. His forgiveness makes our scarlet sins as white as snow. The restoration, healing, and blessing God can bring out of our lowest point is incomprehensible. I've seen it! It is real.

I praise God for His great grace!

Not Just Another Shower

I went to a baby shower today. Yes, I've been to tons of showers, but this one was different. There were so many special details about this shower...handmade favors, ribbons, decorations, flower pens, even pregnant onion plants. I think more love went into this shower than any shower I have ever been to. And today I had an epiphany. The only reason for a shower is to pour out love on the person having a baby (or getting married...whatever the occasion). Sure that doesn't sound like much of an epiphany, but I had never thought of it that way before.

This grand awakening happened when we started playing one of the games. Here's a quick lowdown. Eat baby food, guess what it is. Person with the most right guesses wins! Now I'll be honest. the only reason in the world I will eat baby food is because I LOVE the person who's baby shower I am celebrating. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't come to your shower, and I certainly wouldn't eat baby food!

And then it hit me. Duh! That is the only reason to have a shower of any kind. To show love to the person. I will never look at showers the same way ever again!

A Lesson from Uganda

My heart is always heavy for the country of Uganda after I talk to my sister! I skyped with her last night and began to think about all of the ministry that is going on there and all the Lord is doing. Then this morning I got an email from Danielle Hurley. She is a missionary in Uganda as well. Her email described a Muslim funeral she went to. She described how she was not allowed to sit with the Muslim women because as a non-muslim, she might defile them. And she described how she had to eat a bunch of icky food so that she would not offend the others at the funeral.

For some reason this got me thinking about how this world is not our home. We are just aliens here. We don't fit in. And as much as we try to make it comfortable, the more comfortable it is, the more we forget we don't belong here. So when something "uncomfortable" happens to me, I need to remember that is a kind and gentle reminder from the Lord that I belong with Him in glory, not here on earth.

Waiting...

Sometimes all we can do is sit and wait...

Certain circumstances are out of our control and we simply have to wait. And trust. Trust that God's promises are true and that His strength is sufficient to get us through.

And that's the situation I find myself in today. Waiting...waiting for answers.

When my dad told me he might have prostate cancer, I made a conscious choice not to freak out, not to let fear get a foothold in my heart. I told myself to be logical and to wait until we had some answers.

So I waited...waited for my dad to go to the doctor. And I waited...waited for him to have blood tests. And now I am waiting...waiting for results. Cancer, or not?

God tells me it is good to wait on Him!

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.

Psalm 37:7
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him

Psalm 37:9
...But those who wait on the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

Psalm 37:34
Wait on the LORD, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land.

Psalm 39:7
“And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.

Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.

Psalm 52:9
I will praise You forever, because You have done it; and in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good.

Psalm 59:9
I will wait for You, O You his Strength; for God is my defense.

Psalm 62:1
Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation.

Psalm 62:5
My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.

Psalm 69:3
I am weary with my crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.

Psalm 130:6
My soul waits for the Lord; more than those who watch for the morning—Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

The Importance of Training Your Children

To all you parents out there. Let this be a lesson to you. I think this little girl could use some training up. What do you think? :)

WATCH

You Learn Something New Every Day!

I love my job! I actually get paid to do something I'm good at, to have fun, to be around people I love, and to try new things.

Today we were filming a video to promote a new fundraising initiative we're launching at work. Over the last couple of weeks I was part of writing the script and then today I was assigned to be the script supervisor on set. What an experience to try new things. I've helped my cousin Robert on the the set before as his PA, but this was a little different.

Trying new things can reveal a lot about yourself and I feel like I explored a new side of myself today, and I liked it. It was a total blast.

For the rest of my life I want to continue learning and growing. I don't ever want to get stuck in one place. Today was a good start.

All Dogs Go to Heaven?

I recently decided, I don't like pets. Don't get me wrong, I like animals. I'm just not a fan of pets. There's a difference. I say this as someone who has always had pets. In fact, growing up, there was never a time when I didn't have a cat, a dog, a bird, a rabbit, a rat, fish, chickens, or a pet squirrel. But the more I see how convenient and easy it is NOT to have pets, the more I feel like I can do without. Well, at least I thought so until the other day.

I read a facebook post my cousin put up. He's been extremely sad the past few days because his dog died. Rona was one of those special pets. The kind that don't come along often. You know, the one pet that has everything, the great personality, smart wit, sweet demeanor, yet protective personality. Rona really was one of a kind.

After reading my cousin's post, I was driving home from work and this precious pup started to cross the street, a car turned and headed in the dog's direction and the dog retreated staying in the crosswalk the entire time! I had to admit, it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

The next day, again on my way home from work, I watched in horror as a cute, but scruffy, malnourished dog ran into the middle of a crowded intersection where cars speed and accidents happen in abundance. The dog ran in what seemed to be circles in the middle of the street and was inches from being hit, several times. I held my breath and couldn't move. I wanted to take that dog home. But I couldn't get to it in time. No it didn't die, but it ran away before I could get to it.

I thought I was over the whole pet thing, now I'm not so sure!

Alarm Realizations

My alarm clock went off at 6 a.m. like it does every morning. And I had to laugh...I was waking up to, "Grease is the word, is the word, is the word..."

Then I came to a sudden realization. For as long as I can remember, I've preferred to wake up to the radio rather than the beeping of an alarm. But I can't think of one time that I can actually remember what song it was that I woke up to.

I guess I'm so out of it when I wake up in the morning that I don't even process what song is on and I go into auto pilot and turn my alarm off. Strange. I guess it's kind of like dreams you have that you can't remember. Until one night you have a dream that you do remember. And for some reason, this morning, I woke up to grease!

One Reason to Stay Single

I can't remember if I posted this a long time ago, but I encountered it again and thought it was so hysterical that I had to share it. ENJOY!

A girl was out with some friends on King St. (in Toronto). A guy approached her and wouldn't leave her alone. He kept telling her how cute she is. She finally gave in handed the guy her business card just to get rid of him.

Here are TWO voicemails the guy left her. Hysterical, especially the second one. You can clearly see why she didn't call him back. Instead she called in to the Z103.5 morning show and had them play the phone messages on the air.

http://www.melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

New Year, New Look, New Thoughts

Hope you like the new look of my blog. I feel like I've made so many changes in my life in past few months that my blog should reflect that! A fresh look and a fresh outlook for the new year.

Yesterday I was reminded that I don't often remember what a BIG God I serve. And so often, I don't have because I don't ask. But why should I be afraid to ask God to do something "too big" or "too specific?" That's just silly. In fact, God wants me to think big and to be bold when I emplore Him. God wants me to be persistent like a child who will keep asking until their request is granted. My prayer is that I will return to the simpicity of my faith and be like a child before Him, unashamed to ask for anything from my Father who loves me.

God is so big, He even uses my sin to bring glory to Himself. That's tough for me to grasp. No, I don't want to sin. I need to flee from it and mortify it violently if necessary. But I WILL sin and God's grace is so big, God is so good, that He will use my sin for good. So what do I do? What is my job? I will strive to die to sin and rest in grace!

Tall Soy Chai Tea Late, Extra Hot, No Water and the Church

There's something about a cup of chai that makes me feel happy, introspective, and ready to take on the day! The hot, delightful, liquid oozing down my throat, through my body, and warming my tummy is a wonderful addition to a cozy couch and my Bible.

And my thoughts drift to things I can't stop turning around in my head. I read something that transformed my thinking about how to view the church. It's a concept I'd ever really thought about before. The church is the vessel through which God shows His grace to His children. That is why He has given the church instructions to devote ourselves to the teaching of the Word, the breaking of bread, to prayer, and to baptism. All of those are things...teaching, communion, prayer, baptism...those are ways that God lavishes us with His grace.

Church is about God giving us His grace. It's not about what I "do." Even when I "do," I am simply a vessel of grace that God is using to bless someone through me. What a humbling concept. WOW!

What in the world?

I'm wearing warm, fuzzy, black gloves (the kind where you fingers are free, but your thumbs stay warm.) If you were wondering, that's how I can type and wear gloves at the same time with no problem.

I was out of town for the holidays, but I'm told that it snowed in the Santa Clarita Valley while I was gone! WHAT? All I can say is, "What in the world is going on?" Since when does it get this cold in CA? Yeah, gotta love that global warming we are having.

Well, the holidays are over, I can feel it. No, I can't really explain it. I'd just look stupid trying to detail how I can almost feel the festive spirit in my heart slowly fading with each decoration I put away and with the Christmas music fading in my head. There's a holiday energy that I can literally sense dwindling away. But I know it will come back next year, it always does.